Graduation and Success: Is It All About Higher Education?

In the months of May and June we can go to the mailbox and find invitations in the mail from family and friends to come celebrate their children’s graduation. Kids are graduating from high school, college, or beyond. There is the happiness of the accomplishment but I would like to share with you the other side of the coin…

The burden of DEBT 

As a person who has spent a total of 22 years in school, 9 of which was in higher education, I acquired a debt of over $165,000 in educational loans. Shortly after I graduated, I was required to pay $1250 a month to start paying back my debt. 

Many of my graduating Chiropractic class were in the same boat having a debt of over $1000 a month to pay. This burden caused many of them to work for other docs in situations where they were not happy just so they could survive. Others had to defer their loans meaning not pay them because of financial hardship) and some 10 years later are still deferring their loans. The burden of debt was so bad for many docs, some told me they wished they could give it all back because they hated the burden of being BROKE.

The US News Reported in 2010 that the average cost of tuition and expenses (living, books etc.) ANNUALLY WAS

For a 4 year public school like SUNY Oswego was $18,000 
A 4 year Private school like Lemoyne was  $28,000  
A 2 year school $11,000

Now a large majority of students do work while going to college, having a part time work-study position, or retail or food service jobs to help pay for their living expenses. I worked all through college but many months couldn’t make my living expenses and would need parental help. One year I was so broke that I actually needed to go on Food Stamps to get by.

The Burden of Finding a Job

The Associated Press reported about 1.5 million, or 53.6 percent, of bachelor's degree-holders under the age of 25 last year were jobless or working jobs that they are overqualified for like food services. 

The worst degrees were college graduates that majored in zoology, anthropology, philosophy, art history and humanities. The best employing degrees were with nursing, teaching, accounting or computer science degrees.

They say that high school graduates have much higher unemployment rates and many who have been downsized from jobs make the decision to go back to school. But yikes, would they be better off not attending?


What can we do to help our children find the best careers?


Bethany

Bethany is a 16 year old who just graduated high school a year early. She has had her own business now for over a year. She assists business owners with online tasks and social media management. Her hourly rate is $17 an hour for virtual assistant services (more for social media services), which is more than what most 20 year employed veterans make. Her parents started grooming her several years ago when they realized they were deficient in really grooming their kids for success. They have invested over $12,000 in trainings, classes and education so Bethany could be successful at an early age. 

Now Bethany’s goal is not to be a Virtual Assistant her whole life but she is using this business to fund her other passions as well as learn and grow.  Read her article “5 Reasons Why Everyone Should Take a Gap Year”.

Cameron
Cameron has always been a worker helping his family with their family owned businesses. Since he was a young kid, he would clean the carts, pick up trash and collect balls at their family golf course and range. As he grew, his responsibilities grew but he has always known how to work. It wasn’t an option, it is what they did. At the young age of 18 he was approached by a local farm owner to come work for the summer. His outstanding work ethic, responsibility and motivation over that summer put Cameron in a management position. After just 2 years, the owner has asked him to partner in growing the farm and managing the farm. 


What did Cameron and Bethany’s parents do to help their children be successful?

Cameron’s family led him by example of work and required helping the family business and working at a young age. I hear many parents give excuses why their children don’t work…  or why they don’t require their children to work, and then give them privileges like they did.  Cars, paying for insurances, or giving spending money with out work. In life we do have to work. It’s all part of it, but we can teach them the rewards of working and how to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Bethany’s parents understood their own shortcomings and got training to improve their parenting and then invested in their children’s success.  As a parents, don’t think your child has to have graduated high school before they can start being successful. Learn what is available for kids out there.  Ask one of your friends who is successful in business to mentor your kid, or even let a child who is eager and motivated to intern or be an apprentice with them.


Is higher education right for my kid?

Cecelia was a very bright studious driven young woman who did everything well. Upon graduation she had 4 good work internships that should have landed her a job right away, but unfortunately didn’t.  And 2 years later she is one of those underemployed even though she is above the pack.

John barely graduated high school but found a great passion for computers. He loved learning new things. He taught himself computer science, started working at a computer store and constantly learned more. He invested in learning PEOPLE and communication skills, which led to top IT positions within a Fortune 500 company.

I don’t know if higher education is right for your kid or not. But in Cecelia’s case, she may have benefited from taking a GAP year (read Bethany’s article) to develop her connections, networks and skills before jumping out in the work force. She was so burned out after graduation and stressed about finding a job. Then she was had more stress when she didn’t find a job. A gap year may have been a good choice for her.

Is your child passionate about something? How will you help feed that passion? Are you teaching your kids people, job or business skills? Do you need to improve your people or parenting skills? Don’t be offended, we ALL can improve.  Start with you and watch your children blossom. It’s never too late.


What do you think about graduation and success? Please leave a comment below.  

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

Do You Give Yourself Grace?

Grace can be defined as a virtue coming from God, a merciful or compassionate nature, an act of kindness, courtesy or clemency, and an exemption. Let’s really think about these definitions…

The other day my girlfriend Chasity called me to share her disappointments in herself. She is a mom of 2 children less than 3 years old and a very big dog. She has a loving and supportive husband with a demanding job that allows him to be at home on the weekends. Chasity has a seasonal job too that currently has her working from 3pm to 11pm on Saturdays and Sundays.

She called to say she was disappointed in herself because she wasn’t losing more weight, she was late to exercise classes and that she wasn’t contributing more money to the family.

As I listened to her I just heard a woman beating herself up and not giving herself grace.

GRACE in the seasons of life

There are definitely seasons in our lives that we may need to give ourselves grace. Seasons when our family will require more attention than when they are older. Seasons after surgery or during an illness when we have to slow down and require less of ourselves. Seasons when we are attempting new things like going back to school after a long time that we will need more GRACE.

Because Chasity was born with some amazing gifts to get done in one day what most of us get done in a week, she still feels that she can accomplish those same things with 2 kids. Maybe she can…but it is important to give ourselves GRACE when we don’t meet our expectations.

GRACE to our bodies

Chasity doesn’t understand why she isn’t losing more weight but she is still nursing her baby. The body needs extra stored body fat when nursing. Although initially the “baby” weight will come off more quick for nursing moms, they will maintain about 10-15 pounds extra naturally.

When I work with obese women, many times they are very discouraged that they have not released any significant weight or that they have gained weight. We must give our bodies GRACE. The keys to releasing weight if you are obese can be found in our Total Wellness Slique Experience Virtual Coaching program. But in a nutshell, we address that women with a high percentage of body fat have a very low metabolism. They will need to spend 1 to 6 months re-training the body’s metabolism through healthy eating and exercise. This is also why many women plateau at 30 pounds or even 50 pounds.

We must give our bodies’ GRACE. This also includes when we start to exercise after a long break in real exercise. Give your body small steps towards physical fitness. This isn’t the Biggest Loser so let’s make sure we slowly build up. 5 minutes the first day, 10 minutes the next, and so on until we can maintain 40 minutes of continuous aerobic activity. The same thing applies when we start to strength train from no weights then light weights then heavier weights. I always recommend working with a professional to get you started exercising the right way.

Be kind with your words

Have you ever been with a friend who is always referring to himself or herself as large, overweight, or stupid? Think about it. Maybe you say those things. It’s true we can, without even thinking, be meaner to ourselves than we would ever think about saying to anyone else. We lack compassion and kindness towards ourselves. And ultimately, self love.

Start today even if you are not happy with yourself. Don’t speak it. Say positive words over yourself. Tell your body it is beautiful even if you don’t think it yet. The “Power of your Tongue” to actually bring things into being is amazing. You have the power to build yourself up or tear yourself down.

Grace to others

My husband is an expert gunsman (if that is a word).  He received awards when in the Navy for his pistol and rifle shooting. As you can guess, he really likes gun shows.  So the other night he was watching this show called Top Shot and I sat down to watch it with him.

It was the season finale and his favorite Southerner contestant Chris Reed was still in the running. We were on our seat with suspense when the arrogant young man, George, does something no one ever expected. He throws the competition so his now friend Chris Reed can compete for the final prize of 100,000 dollars. George gave up his chances at winning because his friend Chris needed the money. Chris had been in an awful motor vehicle accident that nearly took his life. Today with kids at home, he wanted to earn that money for his kids’ education as well as the recognition and achievement of being Top Shot. Chris went on to winning the Top Shot and the $100,000 and the tears rolled down my face. I didn’t expect to see such an example of GRACE on a reality TV show.

Everyday we have the opportunity to be a George and step down so someone else can step up. That is, to be kind and merciful towards others. To forgive someone, ourselves and just let go of the past.

How about you? Will you show yourself and someone else GRACE today?

If you want to share your story of Grace, comment below. 

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

The ABCs of Getting Out Of The Rut, Tips and Lessons Learned From Names of Young Living Essential Oils

It’s been over five years since Pam’s husband left her. She started out working a 9-5 job and doing whatever she could to make extra money for herself and her two children.

It had been a struggle, looking at co-workers being promoted and not her. A good friend told her about getting new skills, taking care of her appearance, getting a new haircut and buying new sets of clothes.

Pam told herself over and over again…tomorrow… but tomorrow never came.

She is still struggling to love herself or to get a date. She was only 32 but felt like 49. Looking at her friends from a distance…getting all that they wanted…she felt, she was in a rut and not going anywhere…not living the life she once dreamt.

Why did she not want to change and take on a new way of living? Maybe get a new skill, learn a language, dye her hair and embrace the new?
Is she succumbing to doing the same things over and over again…hoping for something different to happen?

Some of us may relate to Pam’s story and feelings. Hoping for a change. It may never happen because being stuck in the same old ways of doing things and not rising above obstacles and challenges…will not create a different result.

Are you tired of doing the same things over and over again?

Are you expecting something different to happen in your life?

The first month of 2012 is over but we still have 11 more.

It has been a privilege to work with Young Living Essential Oils and many hard working, determined, focused and ambitious mompreneurs who stay at home, work part-time and some full-time.

Along the way, we meet some people like Pam that makes us ponder and evaluate on our own lives and feeling sad at the same time. We are definitely not perfect.

We do know what works…

Here are our ABCs tips and lessons of getting out of the rut and living a life that is different each year…to fulfill our dreams and our mission in life. We derived these lessons from Young Living Essential Oil’s names.

A: Acceptance, Awaken and Abundance  

Though these are names of Young Living Essential Oils, we can draw tips and lessons from them… to get out of the rut and create a different life this year.

Acceptance:

Most of us either have been given or have heard of Serenity Prayer. It says God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.

Some things in life cannot be changed like our height. But there are many that can be changed. Whatever can’t be changed, we must learn to accept.

The great success book called the Bible in James 1:5 said if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Question to ask: What can’t I change and what can I change? Write it down and appreciate them.

Awaken:

Some people are just not aware of the need to change and do things differently. We are sleep walking in our daily lives…we sleep walk to work, play and eat. Our potential is not awaken and our dreams may have been tucked away in one corner of our brain because of fears.

In order to live out of the rut, there needs to be an awakening. Recognize there may be a sleep walking lifestyle in us.

Question to ask: Am I a sleepwalking zombie? Do I lead my life daily without directions and a plan?

Abundance:

Marie, a user of Abundance oil shared this upon her return to the United States after living in France for a few years:

I love Young Living Essential Oils. I first learned about using oils for cures when I lived in France and a Doctor treated my neck pain with oils. Upon my return to the U.S., I learned about Young Living and ever since, I have used these oils every day!  

I am especially fond of Abundance, particularly in this time when the news tells us such bad news about lack. When I use the oils, I set my intention, which is easy to do with Abundance. I ask that abundance be provided to me in all areas of my life. When I smell this fabulous oil, I feel abundant and special.

Are we looking at half empty or half full glasses in our lives? There is a great difference how we view life. If we believe there is a lack, we will not attract abundance or fulfillment. Gratitude, purpose and hard work will promote abundance.

Question to ask: How healthy is my mind?

B: Believe, Brainpower

Believe:

Eleanor Roosevelt said the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.  

Even the Little Engine That Could had to remind himself, “I think I can, I think I can” as he climbed up the hill. We read the book when we were younger and believed everything was possible.

Question to ask: What happened to our belief?

Has negative people and circumstances led us to where we are today with unbelief?

Brain Power:

To give our brain a boost would require us to feed it with powerful words, lessons and experiences. Most of us only use less than 10% of our brain and leave 90% in idleness.

Many successful people and those who are going places and achieving their dreams know the importance of reading inspirational books and listening to motivational MP3s. Learn from someone who already succeeded in what you are trying to achieve.

Success breeds success…that is the only way to increase our brainpower!

Reading junk or not reading at all will not feed our brain, thus a powerless brain.

Question to ask: What am I feeding my brain daily?

C: Clarity, Common Sense

Clarity:

To get to our destination while driving, we need to have clarity of where we are going and the road system should not be blocked by traffic or constructions.
If there are roadblocks…we need alternative routes to get to the destination.

Imagine what would happen to your trip if the roads you needed to take were experiencing a heavy rainstorm and visibility was zero. You either get to your destination later or may have to reroute because of no clarity.

Or there is no clear direction to follow…no MapQuest, no proper road signs. Could we arrive at our destination?

Likewise in the journey of life, we need clarity…clarity of goals and purpose. Possibly a detour or alternative route.

Question to ask: Do you know what you want in life? Or are you living somebody else’s life?

Common Sense:

The Common Sense Essential Oil is known to enhance individual’s reasonable and rational decision-making abilities.

To get out of the rut we need to take steps to make it happen…it is common sense…we heard it before, use your common sense.

What happened to our common sense? Dwell in disbelief, lack of motivation, and no urgency and be complacent and settle.

Question to ask: Do you know your enemies? Those that are trying to hold you back and leave you in the rut?

Are you tired of doing the same old and expecting different results? Nothing will change if we don’t take the steps to make a change.

We would like to hear from you. Please join us in our Facebook community where we answer your questions everyday. Leave your comment below and let us know how we can further serve you.

Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

Lessons and Blessings of Another Miscarriage

We all have highs and lows in our life.  It is inevitable and it is life.  The lows of life are sad, tragic, depressing, and awful, right?  What if the lows of your life were actually blessings in disguise or experiences to help you grow?

My 2011 Christmas Holiday was spent in one of those blessings and lessons. On December 25th 2011 while everyone else was celebrating Christmas, I was learning that I needed immediate surgery.

The Highs
It all started with our 5-day vacation to Austin, Texas.  I was 12 weeks pregnant and besides a lot of fatigue, nothing was abnormal. It was an awesome vacation and Saturday December 17th was one of the top 12 days of my life.  Starting with a morning walk to a delicious Mexican Diner, followed by a trip to Zilker Park and a ride on the Zilker train, then off to the Austin Nature Center.  Austin was beautiful, but it was the family time that made it so special.

Then that afternoon my husband and I set out on a 90 minute journey in the Hill Country of Texas where we saw hundreds of little deer and spent quality time talking.  We arrived at the beautiful Meyer Bed and Breakfast, got ready and headed to one of the most special and beautiful weddings I had ever been too.  A day of family, fun, friends, and romance who could ask for more?

The Lows
The next morning, I had breakfast with some of my favorite people including my spiritual mentors Dr. Jack and Lavonne Atnip. We laughed and joked and shared stories of how much our lives have been blessed by this couple.  But somewhere, something inside of me wasn’t feeling right.  I was really tired and thought maybe I just ate too much cake.  As I kissed Dr. Lavonne goodbye she said, “you take care of yourself and get some rest.”  A normal, typical thing that someone would say to a pregnant woman, but something inside of me just didn’t feel right.

On the drive back to Austin, this once beautiful terrain made me nauseous and irritable.  We arrived home and I laid down to rest for a while, but I just couldn’t get comfortable.  My back ached, my legs felt weird, and then all of sudden I felt something coming out of me.  I rushed to the bathroom to see bright red blood.   OH NO not again.  Am I having a miscarriage?

My first trip to the Emergency since a car accident in 1997, confirmed that the baby inside of me had no fetal heartbeat and was only the size of a 6-week fetus even though now I was about 13 weeks pregnant. They said you are having a miscarriage. Then they sent me home to mis-carry my baby.

My husband and I were heart broken as we had gone through this in June of 2011 as well.  Our baby Rachel would have been born January 2012 and now our baby Jesse who would have been born June 30th 2012 was going to heaven too.

But as I said before, I trusted God completely and knew He had His reasons. So although sad, I started to see the blessings in it.

The Blessings

God had given me one of the most amazing days of my life.

He gave our family time to be “on vacation” for 3 weeks.

He ordained 2 weeks with my aunt and uncle who cared and nurtured me, my husband and our 22 month old son Joshua in a wonderful and loving way.

God blessed us with 3 weeks of sun and springtime weather.

I got to go heal for a week at Jones Health Essentials in Florida where I got to spend quality time with our in-laws, nieces and nephews.

We had excellent health insurance for the first time in 15 years.

We were 5 minutes away from one of the best hospitals I had ever been to.

I spent several days in the bathroom bleeding and what I thought was miscarrying my baby.  Me, being a strong willed and natural Doctor, I sometimes think I know everything.  I thought I was fine… but I wasn’t. It’s not that I didn’t listen to my body which I am known to do… but I didn’t follow the doctor’s directions…  right away…  and had I waited much longer, I might have lost my life.

The Lessons and more Blessings:

My Ego for natural medicine was so big, I would brag all the time that I haven’t needed to take any drug or even an aspirin in 11 years.  A part of me thought “I will never need medical care”, “I will never need drugs.”  “essential oils can take care of everything”.

Well I sure learned my lesson.

A second emergency room visit on Christmas day showed that I would need immediate surgery or I would risk never having babies again or worse.

I would need anesthesia for this surgery and the thought of surgery and drugs scared me a lot at first.  I was very frightened and then like a blanket of snow, this PEACE fell over me like you can’t imagine.  (more on that in another blog)

 The Blessings and Lessons of St. David’s South Austin Medical Center  

For more than 13 years I have interned, taught and/or assisted clients at more than 17 hospitals all over the United States, including top ranked hospitals like Stanford.  Out of 17 hospitals, I have never seen the excellent care and outstanding service that St. David’s South Austin Medical Center had.  In all areas, they were excellent from registration to wheeling you out the door.

Have you ever been to an ER that was beautiful and clean, quick, comfortable, and had courteous staff?   St. David’s did.

But it was my experience with the Doctors and Nurses who blessed me the most.

Dr. Glen, the ER doc, was compassionate and kind.

Joyce, my hospital room nurse was attentive, listened, and even let me put some essential oils on to relax.

Nancy, my OR nurse, talked with me while I had a 20 minute wait before being wheeled into surgery.

I was blessed with one of the best anesthesiologist in the state who listened to me and respected my wishes.

But the most outstanding doctor I have had the privilege to work with was Dr. Hemkumar, a female OBGYN who performed the surgery.  She spent time talking with us, explaining the procedure, answering our questions.  She had been a doctor in India delivering hundreds of babies and then went back to school here in the US for medicine again.  She had 2 of her own children and really understood motherhood. She was compassionate, personable and really connected with her patients.  I was blessed by her skill and person and St. David’s is highly blessed to have her on staff.

The Lesson I Learned Through the Blessing of St David’s Hospital is that we all are needed.  Nature’s medicine as well as traditional medical intervention.  Had I not had my medical intervention on December 25th 2011 and the excellent care of St. David’s Hospital, I may not be here to talk to you now.

After spending a day and a half at St. David’s hospital, I checked out okay to go back to my aunt’s to rest and heal.  But before we left, a wonderful volunteer named Francesca came to wheel me downstairs.  She was an elderly woman who had lost her husband and daughter, yet was one of the most pleasant person you have ever met.  I realized then that life would be filled with highs and lows. But even with hurting hearts, we can choose happy.

Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

How to Raise Responsible Children with Clear Boundaries in an Entitlement Era

Can indulging too much and giving too much spoil our children? We know there is not a complete parenting manual out there in the marketplace today. Sometimes parents follow the steps in a parenting book and still find it frustrating to have failed in some areas. Me too.

With modern conveniences, busy lifestyles, overscheduled children and demands from every area…are we aware of what is important? How can we cut through the noise and distractions and focus on raising responsible children who know their boundaries? Establishing boundaries that encourage and promote freedom to be who they are designed to be?

When my daughter was four, I brought her to a dance studio against her will. Then she turned five, I sent her for piano lessons because almost everyone was doing that. When she was seven, it was time for violin. The ‘well-intended’ activities turn into family feuds when the ‘good daughter’ would not practice or hated piano and violin.

In frustration I yelled across the soccer field to my husband, “Look, she is just standing at the soccer field, not kicking the ball!” We have come a long way, in fact seven years of ‘remodeling our parenting skills’. Through mistakes and many frustrations, we have enforced certain rules upon ourselves (the parents) and now the children are less scheduled and are very much growing in the way they should go….

Realize parenting is about our own personal growth, boundaries and our own lifestyle. After all, children look up to us and are modeling what we are doing. Now, we believe in parenting like a mentor, a coach who does the very things expected from the children. Now we have authority, as we model and live life with honesty and boundaries…raw in front of our children.

These are seven ways we are teaching responsibilities and boundaries:

1.    Learn to do things on your own. We can show you once or twice. Then you have to take over and do it yourself. There is a difference between a close relationship with my children and dependency. They are to do assigned housework and clean their bathrooms. “Live with your own trash if you want to” philosophy. I don’t want an adult child that depends on me to provide or do certain things for them.
2.    Learn that life is not a bed of roses. Life can be difficult and has obstacles. I share with them the obstacles I’m facing and how certain things that were expected did not turn out the way I wanted.
3.    Learn to cope with disappointment, struggles and unhappy situation. Life is not always a happy time and easy time. However, we can command our soul to be happy and cope with the disappointment.
4.    Learn to work and move forward. We are made to work, for nothing will drop from the sky. Nice things cost money to buy. You need to make the money to support the lifestyle you want.  There is a big difference between a Bugatti and a Toyota made car.
5.    Know there are consequences to everything. There is no bailing out in our family when enough warnings are given about the consequences of certain actions or behavior.
6.    Curb the need for immediate gratification. With lots of conveniences it is easy to feed ourselves and get immediate gratification for almost anything. They are told the difference between convenient food and food made from scratch.
7.    Our children want to be treated well and respected. They are watching us. Do we respect spouse, friends, co-workers, and ourselves and ultimately do we respect them?

I believe the English idiom the apple never falls far from the tree says a lot about parenting responsible children. The bible says train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).

This year, what words are you speaking over yourselves and your children? Questions to help us move forward:

1.    Do we have an entitlement mentality? For example, I deserve to have a healthy body without putting some work in getting nutritional food into my body.
2.    Do you procrastinate on projects? For example, are you still waiting for the right time to get a home business going. There is no perfect or right time. The time is now.
3.    Are you waiting for the government to make your life better? For example, you are waiting for a pay raise and you have not increased your skills for the last 20 years. You are using the same skill 19 times over without new skills.

If the answers are yes, we need a change. Do you have children that have similar traits as the three illustrations above? I am still learning and growing in these areas and making sure I follow through. To raise responsible kids, I have to be a responsible adult.

To have a healthy body, I put clear boundaries to differentiate between the good nutritional food and supplements and the bad. Please leave us a comment below. We would like to hear from you.

Claudia Looi is a copywriter, travel and web content writer. She’s dedicated herself to helping entrepreneurs create their online presence with email campaign, sales page and web content. A writer and traveler who has lived and worked in Kuala Lumpur, Auckland and New York in the travel industry for over 12 years and has had the luxury of traveling to almost 30 countries. Currently, her works include writing for tour operators, hotels, real estate, wellness and immigration consulting industries. When not working, you will find her reading or planning her next family trip with her husband and two teens.

An Exercise to Help You Review Your Year

This is the last week of the year and it is a great time to reflect on 2011. This exercise might take a few hours, a few days, or even an entire week but it will be worth it.   This exercise has helped me and many others move from just so so happy with our lives or marriages to creating lives we only dreamed of.  So are you ready?

First thing:

Turn off the TV, get away from distractions and get out your calendar or planner and starting with January you write down some of the highlights, special events, things that you learned, ways you grew, life lessons etc. Go week by week, month by month moving closer to the end of the year.

Second Thing:
Now that you have everything written down go back and highlight the real important things of your year.  The things that really stick out to you.

Third Thing:
Now it’s gratitude time.  With another highlighter or you may even re-write them out highlight or mark everything you are grateful for.  Remember even life’s hard lessons always have a purpose.

Now for some of us, we may really need to spend a lot of time in gratitude.  Reviewing looking at our accomplishments, sharing them with others who are good listeners or friends and basking in this peaceful place for a few days or the rest of the week. When you feel really GRATEFUL for your year (not just part of it but ALL OF IT) then you can move forward.

After you have gone through your year, focused on what you are grateful for now it’s time to take a hard look at your development and growth. They say if you are not growing your rotting.  I don’t know about you but I don’t like to rot.

Fourth Thing:
What new things did you try or skills did you develop with your parenting, marriage, job, or business?  Did you give it your best shot?  Are you still working on those things?  Are you still doing the same techniques and tools you did 3 years ago or 2 relationships ago and they just aren’t working?  I know change is difficult but right now you need to know if what you are doing has been productive, positive, or beneficial to you.

Remember sometimes change can be subtle.  We all want instant gratification. We want to start a new way of eating, parenting, doing our business, or thinking and have instant results.  Give yourself a break if you didn’t see dramatic results.  Do you still feel you are moving forward?  Most growth and change comes from consistent work, changing our thinking and speaking patterns, and getting to the roots of what caused our problems in the first place.

Okay that’s enough for this week.  Next month we will have some more good content on techniques and tools to help you improve your health and happiness in all areas of your life.

Remember if you don’t take a good look at your year you may end up spending this next year learning the same lessons, not seeing the positive, not being grateful and worst of all being in a rut for 2012.  I don’t want that for you or me.

I believe you can have the best year of your life.  It will take some work but I am here for you and we can work together to bring Total Wellness to 2012 in all areas of your life! Please leave your comment below.

 

Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

How To Achieve Total Wellness Through Simplicity

How To Achieve Total Wellness Through Simplicity

Sometimes it takes a catastrophic experience to make us realize what is important in life. Life is actually not so complicated if we see it with a different pair of eyes.

I was raised in simplicity. Our home was just the usual table, chairs and some necessities. There were no clutter and fancy things. But I changed.
Soon the house of simple became a house full of things to sell when it was time to move. The $15 Pooh bear was worth $1 in our moving sale, the $20 table lamp was on the curb to be picked up by a passerby or the garbage man. Some big items and random things were sent to Goodwill.

When I did the calculations, those knick knacks were worth thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours shopping and hunting. Most were worth close to nothing at the moving sale.

Did I learn after the move? Not really…

After moving to Florida, instead of accumulating knick knacks, I started accumulating real estate since the crowds were doing so. News of so-and-so just made $35,000 flipping a house without money down and another was making a ‘killer deal’ in Arizona. With a little coaching from a guru, I did my due diligence and went for the ‘killer deal’ as well.

2008 came…

I was sitting with a few hundred hungry men and women in Pittsburgh listening to a millionaire, who once was homeless and had $2.03 to her name. She said, “The majority is always wrong. Go the opposite direction… (Paraphrased)”.

Here is a millionaire, living a simple lifestyle, traded her big mansion for a cookie cutter home and discovered her destiny. She was on a quest to help set free those who were in debt and to live a life of freedom.

Something changed inside of me…
I was on a quest to simplify my life to achieve total wellness since that day.

Here are 5 tips to help simplify your life:
1.    Know who you are and your purpose in life. Once I discovered my purpose in life, things do not appeal to me any longer. I started journaling and discovering myself. I went deep into my inner core and faced myself. It is not pretty sometimes but if we want to know who we are and our purpose, we have to go to the secret places and deal with our feelings, insecurities and desires. I know God has a plan for me and I set out to discover and let him take control while I did the work.
2.    Write it down and set a budget. I’m sure you have heard that “B” word all the time in financial advisor books or websites. I used to hate that word when my husband mentioned it. It felt restrictive and overwhelming. But, I am a recovered shopaholic and know the freedom of setting a budget and tracking all expenditures. I keep a list of things to buy even for the grocery shopping. No more seven different breakfast items in my pantry and four different frozen breakfast items.
3.    Have your spouse and children on the same quest. Sometimes your spouse or children may not agree with your new way of living. I believe in living by example. If we show up with a great attitude and live the life we set out to live and do the things we said we are going to do…these are more powerful than words. Nothing is more fulfilling than having your family members agreeing with your quest to simplify your lifestyle and home.
4.    See the needs of others. We live in a blessed nation. Despite the news about the economy, we have plenty compared to some of our brothers and sisters across the globe. With a heart of gratitude and eyes that see beyond ourselves and giving to charitable organizations, we may gain different outlooks on our things. In my travels, I’ve seen and experienced lavish lifestyle and also seen the impoverished. With careful planning and giving, we can see the fruits of our giving and may be motivated to help the needy instead of buying stuff that don’t add value to us.
5.    Surround yourself with like-minded people. Keeping up with the Joneses will not bring fulfillment. This phrase never existed until the 70s. But that does not mean our grandparents or parents were any different when it came to wanting to be accepted by their peers or keeping up with their peers. If our peers are not supporting our new lifestyle, we need to hang-out with a different group. Read motivational books that can keep you on track with your chosen lifestyle.

The word ‘simplicity’ is defined as the quality or condition of being easy to understand or do…unpretentiousness and naturalness (Dictionary.com).
It encompasses our mind, body and soul, which is our whole being. I discovered once we took control of our spending and set boundaries with our money, it set me free to look deep into myself and take proper actions to improve my total being, thus total wellness.

As I am still learning the art of simplicity, I am selling my home, putting a lot of great ‘stuff’ on eBay for sale and cleaning up every room including the garage. My house is less cluttered and creativity flows.

The Chinese believes in Feng Shui….which to me means an uncluttered life and not too much ‘stuff’ which may bring obstructions to the flow of energies in our home.

Can you envision an uncluttered lifestyle….simplicity may not be for everyone. It does not mean not having stuff you like and enjoy. It means instead of having five, settle for one. That is my way of achieving total wellness, freedom and increasing creativity in my work and maintaining stronger mind, body and soul. To top it up, I am a user of Young Living Essential Oils and a Ningxia Red drinker. I believe in investing into my skills and journeying through life with a mentor in health, life and business.

I wish you well…Please leave your comment below. We love to hear from you.

Claudia Looi is a copywriter, travel, web content writer and manages blogs for several businesses. She has lived and worked in Kuala Lumpur, Auckland and New York in the travel industry for over 12 years and has had the luxury of traveling to almost 30 countries. Currently, her works include writing for tour operators, hotels, real estate, wellness and immigration consulting companies. When not working, you will find her reading or planning her next family trip with her husband and two teens. You can find her at Travel Writing Pro. Feel free to download her free report on How to Live Out of Your Suitcase for  a WEEK!

The Reality of Holiday Loneliness and Depression

The Reality of Holiday Loneliness and Depression

By Dr. Mary Starr Carter
While the holiday season is a joyous time of the year for many it can also be the worst time of the year for some. Instead of “I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus”, it may turn out to be like one of the book’s title written by Ann Hodgman called I saw mommy kicking Santa Claus!

There are many reasons why depression and loneliness are part of the holidays. The loss of job, missing a loved one, divorce or coping with an illness. All of these losses can bring grief instead of joy.

The loss of a spouse, parent, grandparent, child or good friend:
Losing a loved one means an empty seat at the special dinner and probably a missing link to the whole celebration. Many times the holiday season will have to take on a new direction and tradition. It is difficult to celebrate the season as before. Some people feel better by visiting the cemetery, lighting a special candle or journaling about it.

No matter how it is done, the truth is, emptiness and loneliness will still exist. The only way to cope is to have someone to talk to and embrace the sadness instead of dwelling deeper into depression or loneliness.

Maybe take a break from the old tradition. Keeping yourself busy throughout the holiday season by donating your time at a food bank, getting a seasonal job in retail, taking a cruise with a friend, or visit a relative out of state during the holiday instead of being at home. Break away from routine and familiarity and surround yourself with friends and family.
Your sadness may still be there but you may get great joy out of helping others and making them happy.

The loss of a job:
Losing a job means there is uncertainty and maybe a lack of funds for holiday giving and days ahead. It may be time to cut down on expenses and evaluate on the style of gift giving.

Friends of mind lost their sole income in October several years ago and were destitute by Christmas.  Although their basics needs were paid for there was no money for gifts.  They gave the kids beautifully wrapped boxes with a whole in the top.  All year long they would write down any time God blessed them or something good happened in their life and the following year they would open them.  Although the kids were not thrilled at first the boxes became a huge reminder of gratitude and blessing.  The family was blessed over and over that year and the following Christmas they loved opening their boxes and reading all the good things that happened to them the following year.

Divorce or children moving out:
Through the years we have created memories with our spouse and children. A divorce or children moving away with their own families can leave you with loneliness and misery. Just like losing a loved one be sure to fill your time with things you love, caring for others or caring for yourself.

Military family with loved ones serving overseas:
During the holiday season a military spouse may struggle with challenges of loneliness, fear and worry. They have to do everything to create a happy holiday celebration for the children without their spouse. That burden   is a very difficult one and should not be carried alone. If possible ask for help from your family and friends with anything you need. Join support groups and seek out help if you need it.

Feelings of loss and loneliness can be very dark place to stay.  Using essential oils can help uplift your moods during those lonely times and throughout the year.

One of my favorite essential oils is Joy.  Joy inhaled more than 10 times a day or diffused several times a day in your environment can truly improve your outlook.  See when you inhale a pure therapeutic essential oil like Young Living’s Joy oil it goes directly to the part of the brain called your limbic center or “emotion center”.  Inhalation therapy is one of the quickest ways to change your “stinking thinking”.

Here is Peggy Nederlof story about Joy oil.
Last year I experienced depression and felt comatose. It was so unlike me. I heard about the blend Joy and started to palm inhalate it. Within 10 minutes I started to feel better. I continued to use Joy multiple times during the day, and within 2-3 days, I felt as though I could take action and move away from my depression. It was very powerful. 

I then started to use Valor every morning on my feet and added that to my routine of breathing in Joy. After a week, I felt so much more balanced that I no longer felt depressed or needed to use Joy as much. Valor is now my go-to oil to start my day.

Finally, dealing with grief, loss, and loneliness, does take some courage to face the day.  I agree with Peggy starting your day with Valor is a great way to start and end your day as well as use throughout the day if you need it.

Take 3-6 drops of Valor (depending on the size of your feet) and rub the oil on your feet and hold there for a minute.  Do the same thing for your shoulders and chest .   Follow with Joy…..  aghhh I just took a break while writing this and not only do I feel clearer in my thinking but definitely uplifted too!

Try it and see what you think.  Remember if you feel you have a serious depression or feelings of suicide please seek competent medical advise, if you don’t feel like you are getting answers keep searching.

We look forward to hearing your stories. Please leave your comments below.

Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

The Secret Weapon to Destroy Worry

The Secret Weapon to Destroy WORRY  
By Dr. Mary Starr Carter

I was raised by worry wart parents so of course I became a worry wart person.  Worry would keep me up at night. It would have me running all out most days.   It would keep me from ever having peace. Worry led me to a few mini meltdowns and even what I would call a nervous breakdown.  But most of all worry stole many years of my life. 

What did I worry about?  Like most people money, debt, time, the safety of my loved ones, the outcome of a test, my own abilities and the list goes on. 

The word worry means strangle.  S-T-R-A-N-G-L-E  Strangle or STRONGHOLD well worry definitely was strangling me.  It was robbing me of my joy and peace and although I didn't know it at the time it was robbing the people in my life and the people I wouldn't meet because of this STRONGHOLD.    

When did my WORRY let go of it's stronghold. It started in Fall of 2007 when I opened up my heart to God and started to let Him in.  At first I noticed I was sleeping sounder at night.  Nothing had changed in my exterior life I still had zero dollars in my bank account and a quarter of a million dollars in debt but yet I was sleeping sound.  I wasn't running running running like a chicken with my head cut off. If I didn't finish oh well the world would not end.  

I started really understanding and living Biblical principals particular Mathew 11:28-30 and Mathew 6:34.  Before I was always depending on myself to accomplish everything, when I let go of worry and that STRONGHOLD FEAR  I allowed God to come in direct and lead me in the right directions.  My life became much more simple. I didn't feel like I was going around and around but never getting any results. 

Now don't get me wrong I still let worry and fear creep in every now and then but then I remember there is no point in worrying in fact worry can be quite deadly. 

Worry, Anxiety, and Stress are contributors to most of the 75-90% of all hospital visits.   Worry is killing people.  And don't think that your problems have to be bad for worry to get it's STRONGHOLD on you.  You and I, both have met plenty of people who are financially secure by most standards yet worry the most.  I remember visiting these clients who had gotten married two years previously and their home was extremely cluttered and unsafe. 

Instead of getting a bigger home or storage for their now blended family they “stored” everything in their home. The husband was so worried about money he would not allow the wife to buy anything even with her own money. She desperately needed some nutrition supplements and essential oils but he couldn't see spending that money.  Yet this young couple already had saved over $200,000 in the bank and had no debt. That STRONGHOLD eventually led to the demise of their marriage. 

Worry can lead to addictions, hoarding, and worse, the end of your relationships and your health. 

I want you to think about what you worry about. Do you worry what people will think of your messy house or the things you have to don't have in your home?  Do you worry if your family will like your new wife?  Do you worry if your children will stay healthy, get good grades, or become a good person? 

Write down what you worry about. 

Now I want you to look at that list and STOP WORRYING…..  That might be impossible for many of you because worry is your habit it is in your programming. 

But there are some SECRET WEAPONs to kill WORRY.

THANKSGIVING:  See worry is a verb and action something that you consciously or unconsciously do.  In order to re-write your programming you will need to also have another action — GRATITUDE – the action of Thanksgiving.

In her book 1000 Gifts a Dare to live fully right where you are by Ann Voskamp the reader is taught to be grateful for things that we mostly miss when we are in worry.  If you struggle with worry or live in fear most days then I highly recommend this book and follow the instructions. 

Accepting God's grace as your Provider.  For anyone out there who has been on top of the world physically, emotionally and financially and then the next day lost it all you will attest to how fleeting things can be.  When I learned not to worry about money (and am still learning) that is when God's grace opened up.

If you need more help on that open up the Bible and read the stories of the amazing grace poured out on a who lot of people who didn't deserve it.

Let go of Control:  If you are a controlling person like I used to be it is very difficult to let GOD take over let alone another person. No one can do it as good as you.  Well that may be true but we all have to let go to move forward in life.  If you truly want to grow your business, raise amazing independent healthy minded children, develop into the best person you can be we have to let go and let GOD. 

Don't do drugs do OILS….  I have met numerous people who end up medicated do to the worry and anxiety in their life.  If you are on those meds please be aware you can not just come off them without some serious and sometimes fatal side effects.  Please work with a qualified doctor who has a lot of experience in taking patients off those meds successfully.  

But whether you are on medication or not and you have worry or stress you can use therapeutic Young Living essential oils like Stress AwayValorPeace and Calming, or Tranquil oils to help decompress and relax your brain and body.  When you inhale an oil like Young Living essential oils that are pure and free from synthetics your brain immediately responds. These specific oils have been scientifically been proven to bring you into a state of relaxation.

Many Young Living users will inhale oils 10-20 times a day as well as wear them as perfume or cologne to protect their health and calm their mind. 

Simplify:  In my office one of the doors has a sign that says simplify.   Having less, doing less, running less, can add a great deal of peace to your life.

This summer I started a Program that helped people get off the streets and into a learning and growing environment that mentored them to a better life.  I probably used this program as a crutch after my miscarriage to fill a void. You caretakers know that too well…. take care of everyone else but ourselves. 
Well I found over the months that this was bringing more and more stress to me and my family.  I came to the conclusion that I needed to let go of this program in order to put myself and my family first. I did and it was like a huge weight off me.  I also reclaimed some things I lost due to that program and feel a much greater peace and simplicity in my life.

Lastly I just want to share with you that I am still no expert on Not Worrying, but since I have incorporated the above recommendations into my life I am a whole lot happier and have a great deal of peace in my life.  I wish this same Peace for you. 

God Bless you, your family and your life to Total Wellness.

Please share your comments below. Your comments help us serve you better.

Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as  the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

Are You a Door Mat?

Are you a Door Mat?  
Saying NO, Setting Boundaries, and Expressing your True Feelings

Dr. Mary Starr Carter
 

I pointed to the door mat and said to my client Karen  " you are not a door mat". See for the past several years many people had been taking advantage of her. She was a retired with a huge heart for people and animals and it seemed like her family, friends and service organizations she belonged to were constantly calling to get her to do things. 

For years she obliged and spent hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars caring for the needs of others.  She was at her breaking point. Her blood pressure was 220/100 and the doctor wanted to hospitalize her. 

She was very scared and VERY STRESSED. Kari had put everyone's needs before her own until she literally was ready to explode. The physical is directly related to your emotional health.  If you have poor emotional health and balance you will see physical deterioration.  For some it can lead to early death.   

Peggy was on that same track. Almost ready to retire she was still always saying yes to whatever or whomever asked for her help. She worked for almost 15 years like a dog from April – October managing and caring for a Seasonal store. She literally worked her fingers to the bone. She would work 10-12 hr days, many 6-7 days a week .  

Her hands were now all arthritic. And during her "off" time of the year she was babysitting her granddaughter, filling in at her cousins store, and really never taking any time for herself. 
 

To make it worse she had step children that wanted everything but were never grateful. They were mean, hurtful and offensive at every family gathering. Yet Peggy never said anything. Peggy was almost 60 when she began to really physically and mentally lose it. 

All those years of saying YES of biting her tongue when people hurt her were building up.  One day her step child said an ungrateful statement and something inside of Peggy exploded.  All that anger just came to the surface and she ran over slapped the girl across the face and ripped out part of her hair. THIS WAS NOT PEGGY. Peggy was a quiet peaceful person, but all those years of not expressing her feelings of hurt and anger came out at once. 

Peggy was mortified that she was even capable of that kind of behavior. She sought counseling and learned why that happened and developed techniques of Saying NO , Expressing herself and setting Boundaries that not only will avoid it ever happening again but brought a great deal of joy to her heart.  Surprisingly she is a much happier, healthier, has released 30lbs without even changing her eating or exercise. 
 
In both Kari and Peggy's case they were physically and emotionally deteriorating because they did not CARE for themselves enough to SAY NO, express their feelings, and stop the bad behavior towards them. 
 
Saying NO –  Setting Boundaries:

For some us we are innately wired to want people to like us. Somewhere in that programming we think that doing things for others will cause them to like us. Even as adults when this knowledge no longer makes sense we are wired subconsciously to do this. We give things away, we may even overlook our own self care to care for others.     

Saying No to others is about Saying YES to yourself.  It's about loving yourself and your physical and emotional health enough to make a change for the better. Saying NO is hard at first but it is crucial to your health. 

Whether it is to your mom, sister, brother, principal, or church saying no is important. Sometimes you may have to say no to everything for a period of time to re-group, retreat, and regain your own health and the health of your family. 

Many individuals don't realize that saying YES to everyone may mean you are saying NO to your family or spouse or worse yourself. 

Make sure you have prioritized what and whom is most important in your life and then base your decisions of how often and whom you say yes to on that. 
 
Expressing your Feelings : 

It is not my forte to teach you how to express your feelings because I still am not good at it. Of course you will find me crying at every sad story because I do have deep compassion but to share my own feelings that is difficult.

But I have learned a lot from Dr. Lavonne Atnip an incredible psychologist and marriage counselor. We can end up with all sorts of dysfunction for our childhood and adolescents even if you had great parents. Some people at an early age were chastised for showing emotion so now to them expressing how they feel will only lead to pain in their minds. 

Others when they were young would express themselves and were told that they were stupid.  All these things can lead to adults not expressing their true feelings or expressing them inappropriately, including Low Self Esteem.  

I am not qualified to tell you how to break these habits but I do have some great resources:

Dr. Lavonne Atnip offers phone consultation to people all over the US. 

The book Boundaries  by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. Robert Townsend.   

Healing for Damaged Emotions   David Seamans and Beth Funk  

We have to understand that more STRESS can be caused by not saying NO, not setting boundaries with people or environments in our life, or not expressing our true feelings.  Stress can lead to your physical demise…..  REALLY.  

Right now you may feel it could be more stressful to SAY NO, SET BOUNDARIES, or EXPRESS YOURSELF.  That may be true for a short period of time, but if you want to work through that you can have a much more REWARDING and FUFILLING LIFE and most of all experience TOTAL WELLNESS.  

Join us this Coming Total Wellness Tuesday when we teach you  
11/22/11  How to eat what you want during the holidays and not get sick or gain weight?
Listen Live or via the web:
Phone Number: (203) 347-3041
Pin Code: 700454#
 HYPERLINK "http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventID=24332394"http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventID=24332394

Got Feedback? Please share your comments below. Your comments help us serve you better.


Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

Veteran’s Day: A Day to Remember

Veteran's Day : A Day to Remember

By Dr. Mary Starr Carter

I started crying when I read the Sunday paper.  It shared a story of a local Solider who only got to spend two weeks with his new baby and wife before he was deployed and then killed in Iraq.  I thought that is so sad, and then I thought how blessed my family is.  Blessed that we don't have to worry about my husband being deployed for months at a time, or risking his life.  Today's blog are just a few stories and sacrifices that these soldiers do for us.

Sacrifice to their Relationships
When I heard the news I was crushed.  Some dear friends were getting divorced.  He was a Coast Guard who was deployed about a week every month and she had a small business owner.  WHAT?  I couldn't believe it. They were so happy.  But then I thought about my relationship even before I was married when my then boyfriend and now husband would be apart for more than a week or two. It was miserable and we could talk every night unlike many soldiers.   Soldiers and their families sacrifice their relationships and sometimes their marriages to serve us.  Sometimes their marriages survive sometimes they don't.    
 

Sacrifice of themselves
Two Sunday's ago I was walking through the Atlanta airport with my husband and 7 month old son. I remember how happy we all were. As we were coming around a corner I noticed a young man in a wheel chair, what looked like his wife pushing a stroller with a baby and another airport attendant pushing him.

As I looked closer I noticed the young man had a bandaged arm. In fact he was missing his arm below the elbow. And then I saw his t-shirt. It said Fallen Hero. It hit me he was an injured war veteran. I instantly was wrecked. As we turned the corner I began to cry. My husband noticed and said what is wrong? I couldn't speak my heart hurt so badly for this veteran. I thought of not just him, but all those affected by war. I thought of my friend Loralee Johnson's brother who was killed in the war.


Soldier’s sacrifice their bodies and sometimes their lives for you and me.

Sacrifice of their minds
We don't see real war when we watch TV, but soldiers do.  Many see awful things that lead to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD can lead to medication or self medication.  Today many soldiers are being medicated on low dosages of anti-depressants even before they are deployed. 

Sara Cost's * son returned home with terrible side effects from multiple anti-depressant usage.   It took several months but he was able to regain his healthy mind and get off the medications with the help of his doctor and some natural medicinal treatments. 

Amy Smith * brother was not so lucky.  He spiraled into alcohol and drug use when he returned suffering with PTSD and anti-depressant drug side effects.  He has been in and out of jail multiple times since his return.  He was not that person before he left. 
Soldiers sacrifice their emotional health for us.

Sacrifice of their Spirit
Tom* was a good Christian boy when he left for the Navy besides a bit of a party side he loved God and his family.  He went into the nuclear navy where he lived with 100 people on a submarine 292 ft long, 39 ft wide with a nuclear reactor, food storage and supplies.  For more than 30 days and up to 3 months the sub was submerged with no daylight or leave.  During his last year of enlistment Tom's good friend was killed in a motor-vehicle accident.  That was his final straw he rebelled lost all his Armed Service benefits and ended up in a lifestyle far from God for many years.   

Being a Soldier is a sacrifice to their spirit.

Honor
This Sunday I was in the Chicago airport and all of sudden I heard clapping getting nearer and nearer me. I looked and there is an American flag and women holding signs in front of a young man returning from the army. All the airport patrons were clapping for this solider.  It was very honorable.  Unfortunately not all soldiers get this honor.

Whether we agree or not with the decision for troops to be overseas these men and women have sacrificed a great deal for their country.  They have sacrificed their bodies, lives, emotional and spiritual health.  This Veteran's day and every day remember to pray for them and honor them. 

Got Feedback? Please share your comments below. Your comments help us serve you better.

 

Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

 

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.


 

How to Look 40 When You are 60: An Interview with Cindy Mirabito

How to Look 40 when you are 60 :  An Interview with Cindy Mirabito

By Dr. Mary Starr Carter

As I looked in the mirror one day and made another excuse of why I do not want to exercise I remembered my friend Cindy Mirabito. Cindy is almost 60 years old and LOOKS AWESOME.  She is not only fit and strong but she really does look like she is 40. 

Why does she look so good? 

Here are some Total Wellness Tips from Cindy on How to look 40 when you are 60:

1)   Make time to EXERCISE NO MATTER WHAT.   I was always active with my 3 oldest children I would walk and even run.  But as happens many times we allow life to get in the way and exercise took a back seat when my youngest children were born.  But I soon realized that I needed to exercise not just for the physical benefits but really the mental benefits.  I was home alone with my young girls for 10-12 hours a day.  As soon as my husband got home I would head out the door.  It was my routine, and I would walk 5 miles and then eventually I extended it to 10 miles a day.   The fresh air, the time alone just for me was very beneficial to my overall health.

Several years ago I was caring for my parents out of state and stayed there for 2 months.  During that time I didn't exercise because I thought they needed me more.  I realized afterwards that not exercising was a mistake and even just getting outside for a few mile walk would have been more beneficial for my health.  Since I learned that lesson I needed to care for my husband for a period of time when he had a back issue.  I didn't stop exercising because I needed that boost for both my mental and physical health. 

2)  Gym's are not for Skinny people.   I was nervous myself about going to a gym.  I know many women feel that gyms are what we see on TV, full of skinny beautiful people.  That is not the environment you will see.  At my gym there are people of all shapes, sizes and ages. No one is judging you on what you look like or wear.  Plus a gym is available everyday even when the weather is bad outside.

3) Gym's can help you meet new friends, stay accountable and find support.    I met new friends with young children like me that I wouldn't have met if I was just home exercising.  One friend I made became my workout partner and she taught me how to lift weights.  This was encouraging and motivating because you knew everyday there was someone waiting for you to work out.    

4) You have to PUSH to get the results you want and sometimes that means investing in a Personal Trainer.    It is easy for someone to go to the gym and just get into a routine of walking or lifting and forget that they have to PUSH their bodies to get the results they want.  Or sometimes people will PUSH the wrong way and hurt themselves because they didn't understand proper form when lifting.  I invested in a Personal Trainer for more than a year.  This taught me routines and proper form of lifting weights, using bands, and other not so obvious tools that if you just go to the gym you may miss.  That investment was useful as a motivator and helping me take the next step in my workouts.  Now I can maintain my workouts on my own with what I learned from my Personal Trainer.

5)  Healthy Parents make Healthy Kids. Today some of my children have families of their own and some of my children are in college, but most of them work out.  When your children see you taking care of yourself they will follow in your foot steps.  It becomes part of your family's lifestyle.  

6)  Learning to eat right.  What you put in your mouth is important.  Going to the gym will not make the changes you want without changing what you put in your mouth.  Most of us don't realize that we may not be eating the right foods or proper quantities. I invested in learning from a Wellness Coach how to eat right for me.  I struggled with Acid Reflux which the doctors wanted to put me on drugs.  Through food changes, my Young Living vitamins and exercise I rarely have any reflux now and don't need medication. 
 
7) Investing in your Health.  Staying young and healthy through the years has been an investment of time and money.  I use and taught my children to care for their skin daily at an early age.  We use costly skin care, Young Living supplementation, and take care of our teeth.  All these things contribute not only to our outward appearance but inwards as well. The results are paying off.  For several years I have had Bone Density scans, after my baseline they found my Right hip had some density loss. I started on Young living's Super Cal as well as more weight bearing exercises and my last scan showed no change and no further loss.  My girlfriend who doesn't exercise keeps coming back with bone loss every time she get's scanned.  I know my investment is helping to maintain my health.

8)If you don't take care of yourself no one will- so find a MOTIVATOR.   Since I had children later in life I wanted to be able to keep up with them as they grew.  Today I workout with my daughters and even learned to ski at age 50.  In fact the instructor complimented me saying that my ability to do so well skiing had to do with my core strength. I know that core strength comes from my working out.

Many people my age are plagued with being overweight, having high blood pressure and cholesterol, or even diabetes.  This is one of my motivators. When I get my yearly doctor check ups and blood work I don't have any of that!

Cindy's tips can help all of us men and women younger and older.  As a new mom myself I think of her as a role model for women with children as well as women who are past menopause.  I spent almost a decade going to the gym but I forgot how to push myself.  Getting a personal trainer and into a specific PUSH routine woke me up to my body's new strength.  And like Cindy said it made me a happier and healthier mom. 

If you want to look younger, feel stronger, and be healthier take Cindy's advice and JUST DO IT! Please leave us your comment below.

Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

 

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

Healthy Halloween Tips

Healthy Halloween Tips

By Dr. Mary Starr Carter

 

Healthy Halloween Tips:

1)    Frame your kids for how much candy they can eat during Halloween and each day afterwards.
2)    If you have will power go through the candy and freeze candy bars and treats in small portion size snack bags. 
3)    Choose lower calorie treats like lollipops.  Dum Dums or  Organic Lollipops
4)    Be the Geek who gives out apples
5)    Play-Doh  makes a Halloween Trick or Treat size you can give out.
6)    Family Video sells Video Rental Cards for a $1 each (great if you get a dozen or so trick or treaters)
7)    Make sure you kids have enzymes if they are going to eat all those carbohydrates like Essentialzyme-4   by Young Living 
8)    Have Young Living's Peppermint oil on hand to rub on belly's that overeat
9)    Have your children drink lots of water during treat season
10)     THROW IT AWAY…. do you really need all that sugar poison…  (of course this is my vote)

Got Feedback? Please share your comments below. Your comments help us serve you better.

Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

 

 

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

The Road to Wellness: Dealing with Stress

The Road to Wellness:  Dealing with STRESS
Lessons learned from the STRESSED OUT and the STRESSLESS
By Dr. Mary Starr Carter 

Terry came up to me with a sad smile. “How have you been?”  “Good I said, How about you”   “I am dying he says….   Why are you stressed out?  I've got all these projects and deadlines and I am not going to make my Saturday deadline. 

It keeps me up at night.  I tell you just give me a gun I want to shoot myself….  “What I say doesn’t tell me that I am a doctor I am legally bound to report those statements I jokingly respond…  You know I am kidding.  He proceeds to complain that if his clients were sloppy they should have hired someone else.   Terry is a perfectionist, everything has to be just so. Now I know, he is joking about wanting to kill himself but the fact is he is STRESSED OUT.   

Wil has a full time job, a family, some real estate, and also does some website work for people on the side.  He is the type of guy who can't say NO.  He has gained 30lbs over the past two years and he has been on and off sick every other month with a cold, sinus infection or lung congestion for the past 6 months . His body is trying to tell him something.  

Sarah is super talented. She speaks all across the United States with hundreds and even thousands of people in her audiences.  She helps so many, but is driven to travel a minimum of once a month for 3-4 days at a time. Her body is deteriorating even though she takes lots of supplements.  She doesn't believe in rest.  Even when she is home she is working and going all the time.  She just won't quit.

All three of these individuals are STRESSED OUT. 

HERE IS WHAT I SEE IN STRESSED OUT PEOPLE

1)  The are always striving to be perfect, do better, good is never good enough

2)  They over promise to people please

3)  They can't say NO to anything. 

The greatest thing my mentor taught me is “just because you can        doesn't mean you should”

4)  They are STRIVING all the time. 

The word Strife or Striving means “lack of agreement”, “state of conflict” or “war”.   The Bible is very clear about the downfalls of Strife.

5) They are money driven and no matter how much they get or have saved it's not enough.  

Money and having it is not bad, it's when we have our own personal issues with money like the LOVE OF IT.   Mathew 6:24 is a good statement to read out of the Bible about the love of money. 

But the fact is WE ALL HAVE STRESS, but why is it some people like our three friends end up with heart disease and a variety of health problems and others can handle mountains of stress with out ever getting ILL physically or emotionally.  

I believe it has a lot of how they deal with it.  Here are some observations I have made of those who LIVE in AMAZING HEALTH with MOUNTAINS OF STRESSFUL things in their lives.  I call these individuals the STRESSLESS.  There stressors vary from huge Multi-million dollar businesses, to caring for a disabled child or ill parents.

Here are my observations of how they deal with STRESS:

1)  Acceptance:  “It is ….what it is“    They accept the situation they are in unconditionally.

2)  Live in the moment:   They don't look back at things they could have done better a year ago or even yesterday.  They live in the NOW. 

3) Positive, Positive, and Positive:  Even if their house just burned down their words, thoughts, and actions stay attached to a positive rope. The words that come out of their mouths are NEVER Negative. 

We all have heard the phrase the Power of the tongue. Dr. Lavonne Atnip a Psychologist and Christian Marriage Counselor teaches in depth about this. She says even saying the words, “I am tired” causes the mind to respond and create tiredness in the body.  Our poor friend Terry doesn't realize with every word and complaint he utters especially like “I want to die” although his logical mind knows differently he is creating a physiological response in his body that is NOT GOOD.

4) They have a basic mentality that they were put on this earth to serve. It can be a small or big capacity but the mentality and fullness of their life after you meet them all seems the same.  A mom who cares for her autistic son or a Pastor who leads thousands to Christ a year. 

5) They let go of their burdens and Let God deal with it.  Most of these individuals have a deep connection to GOD.  They live this Bible Verse, 
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30  

None of us can wake up tomorrow and change into people like these Healthy Happy Stressless individuals, but we can wake up tomorrow and work on ONE thing.  Maybe we can stop using the phrase, “I am dying” or “this is killing me” the next time we are at the gym or doing something hard.   

Pick one thing that you can do tomorrow to start on the road to a STRESSLESS LIFE.   Write it in the Comment Section and we will all support each other on the road to health. 

Got Feedback? Please share your comments below. Your comments help us serve you better.

 

Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

Hospital Doctor Recognizes that Lifestyle Causes the Majority of Sick Patients

Hospital Doctor Recognizes that Lifestyle Causes the Majority of Sick Patients

By Dr. Mary Starr Carter


Diabetes affects 25.8 million people and 8.3% of the U.S. population. According to CDC at least 7 million are undiagnosed. Out of these numbers, 215,000 are below age 20 and in 2010 alone, there were 1.9 million newly diagnosed patients.

That is a piece of staggering news and most of the issues started because of lifestyle…
Added to the above news, CDC reported it contributed to $116 billion in direct medical costs and $58 billion of indirect medical costs (due to disability, work loss or premature mortality). Diabetes will also lead to kidney failure, heart disease, hypertension, stroke and some cases blindness and amputating limbs.

People with diabetes have higher medical bills compared to non-diabetes people with the cost of doctor’s visits, hospital stays (for some) and insulin and oral medication.

That is just one example of health problems and huge medical bills that Americans are facing that is related to our lifestyle…the food we eat, the lack of exercise and the lack of education of nutrition.
Childhood obesity has tripled in the last 30 years. The CDC defined being overweight and obesity as:
Overweight is defined as having excess body weight for a particular height from fat, muscle, bone, water, or a combination of these factors. Obesity is defined as having excess body fat.

We can make a change as a family and as a community if we are willing to learn and implement:
Healthier diet
Physical activities
Nutritional supplements
Education/coaching on healthy diets and total wellness
Willingness to make a change, doing it and having the encouragement and support to continue through for long term health and wellness

Below is a video of my short conversation with Dr. Marc Walker, a hospital doctor who sees patients in the hospital, where 80% of the cases are lifestyle related diseases. He said we should take pro-active steps to prevent diseases by nutritional supplementation and exercise.

 

As your Total Wellness Doc, I would like to come alongside and help you reach your total wellness and take steps to a healthier lifestyle.

 

Got feedback? Please share your comments below. Your comments help us serve you better.

Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

Your Children and Teenagers Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Health Depends on Yours

Your Children and Teenagers Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Health Depends on Yours

By Dr. Mary Starr Carter


The air is crisper, cooler and the nights are longer as we move into the Fall season. It is a time when most families are staying longer indoors and it is time to pull out the coats and the sweaters…welcoming the new season.


As we walk through fallen leaves in our yard, crunching as we go each step of our way, we know, this is also a time when the flu season starts in full force. At work, you hear co-workers talking about the illness and children getting sick. Some of us may miss work to care for our children or to tend our own health issues too.


Staying healthy is more than cold medicine?


Staying healthy involves our mental, emotional and physical strengths. It involves our overall well being. Many are looking for simple ways to prevent and treat colds and flu, but how many are looking for answers to our children's behavior and mood issues. 


Let’s start with our well being before we address our children’s. Parents are role models to children and what we eat, do and say each day affects their mental, physical and emotional health and ours as well. So, it starts with us!


What are we feeding our brains each day? Do we start the day with peace or confusion? Here are some ways to start the day right:


Wake up early and start the day with prayer, meditating, and reading. Some recommend no music just silence during your morning quiet time. You can enhance your special time with the Creator with Young Living's essential oil Sacred Frankincense. It is proven to stimulate and elevate the mind and I think it is better than a cup of coffee for waking you up ! 


This particular type of Frankincense is considered the holy anointing oil used during Bible times. The three Wisemen brought this oil to the Christ child it was considered very valuable.  Today science has proven it's affects against everything from gout to cancer inhibiting properties.


Exercise early.  Do you exercise at all?  Do your children exercise?  Exercise is a huge piece of your health care regimen. It not only helps you get and maintain a healthy weight, it also helps improve our mood and energy. Studies also show it helps us fight diseases. Early morning exercise has been proven to help you be more productive throughout the day.


Nutritional Supplements and healthy eating will boost immunity. Junk food is known to reduce energy and may be the cause of unhealthy moods. Start the day with a high protein diet and nutritional supplements like Ningxia Red. Later in the month we will host a blog by an expert in child care who has 40 years experience working with children.


During the recent Young Living Convention in Orlando, Dr. Karen Moody of the Children’s Hospital at Montefiore shared the importance of educating parents of children suffering from cancer. Through their experiences, children who are depressed usually feel that way because of the mother’s depression. Depression may slow down the process of recovery and may trigger illnesses and lower the immune system.


Parent’s healthy mindset and image of themselves and positive outlook on life is essential for the improved quality of life for the whole family most of all teens. Parents many times complain that their children change when they reach teenage years. But we have to look at our own actions, influences and what we did years ago that may have influenced our kids today.  Are we always calling ourselves fat or stupid?  Are you constantly critiquing our children instead of encouraging?   Even sarcasm is not healthy for our children. 


Positive outlook does not come naturally to anyone who wasn't raised in it and even then it can be difficult. It is through constant training our minds that we can change our attitudes.


Here are 5 ways of sharpening your mind for a healthy outlook and body:
1.    Read books that will challenge your mindset and improve your outlook.
       My recommendation Flip the Switch by PJ McClure http://themindsetmaven.com/buy-flip-the-s-w-i-t-c-h/ and Grooming the next Generation by Dani Johnson 
2.    Find a hobby that you can relax and enjoy, for example gardening or running.  Look for a hobby you and your children can do together.
3.    Associate with people with a positive and healthy outlook.  The saying Birds of a Feather flock together ….so who are your friends. Are they gossippy, grouchy, complainy, or friendly, caring, and positive?
4.    Have aromatherapy and a home that promotes harmony and peace. We are not talking about Glade Plug ins. We are talking about pure and natural essential oils like Young Living essential oils Peace and Calming, Harmony oil, or Citrus Fresh.  All these blends can be diffused in your home throughout the day.  Science has proven that smells like these can uplift moods and feel more relaxed. 
5.    Go for therapeutic massage or “YOU” treatment.  Maybe it is a massage, a Chiropractic adjustment, Raindrop session, Pedicure, or Facial.  Taking time out for you with therapeutic touch is healing and positive for your health and your children. 


Our children and teens look up to us every single day. When they are not feeling well, happy or sad…who do they call first? Not your neighbor or distance relatives. It is you….they depend on us!
Let’s boost our health by taking care of ourselves…body, mind and soul….then our children…the natural way.

Please share your comments below. Your comments help us serve you better.

 

Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

Let Go of Financial Burdens and Get your Health Back

Let Go of Financial Burdens and Get your Health Back
By Dr. Mary Starr Carter 

Do you have Financial Burden in you life?  You know the type of debt that you can just barely cover every month.  Or maybe you are behind in your financial obligations.  Or worse maybe you are facing foreclosure on your home.

More and more of my financially smart friends are doing things like selling their homes and moving to a rental, releasing their mortgages, living with only one car.  Why would they make the decision to do this?

In the movie Larry Crowne starring Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts, Larry loses his job of many years and decides to go back to school.  He can't afford his house (living in California) and strategically gives it back to the bank.  His big gas hogging SUV is put up for sale and he starts riding a scooter.  In essence he unburdens his life and becomes much happier. 

Opposite this scenario is my 50 year old single friend whose health has deteriorated through the years from stress and lack of self care.  Her stressors are both relational and financial and when she comes home at the end of the day she is responsible for EVERYTHING. 

DEBT is DECEPTIVE

The American Dream of owning a home is very deceptive
A homeowner must do or outsource many things including:  Cleaning, Maintenance, Lawn Mowing, Garage Take out, plus all the financial burdens of mortgages and taxes.  (In my state NY, taxes on a $125,000 home, per month are as much as a 2 bedroom apartment would cost per month.) If something happens in your home and you aren't handy you must outsource it.  Stoves that don't work, Toilets that break, Hot Water tank breaks down, all this can cost a home owner on average $500-1500 a year. 

And the deception that your house is your retirement fund, that when you retire you can sell your house and live off of that money is not good financial sense any more in most situations. 

But my husband (a real estate investor) wants me to make the point if you strategically learn real estate investing you can create an additional or significant income.  But this too can be burdensome as one of my single friends found out while trying to get her deceased parents home ready to sell. She thought she would save money doing almost everything herself.  Almost 4 years later she has depleted her savings, deteriorated her health and still has not sold it.  All this to get an additional POSSIBLE $50,000 – $100,000 more. 

What is 4 years of your life worth?  What is your health worth?  I hope more than that. One word – WHOLESALE…  look up wholesaling a home if you are in that same situation.

STAY AWAY FROM THE BIG RED CHECK

Recently I was reunited with my old college roommate who has a business of repossessing cars. It was really interesting listening and learning the process of how these car dealership credit companies get you. THE BIG RED CHECK… if you see that when applying for a car loan… RUN…..  If you get a loan with these companies and miss just one payment they will come to take your car, and to get it back, you will have to catch up on your payment and spend minimum in $250 in penalties.

MAKING MORE MONEY IS NOT THE ANSWER

I know this statement is true because just several years ago my husband and I were earning over 6 figures a year and spending all of our income every month plus an additional $1000 on credit cards. We had $250,000 in debt.   BUT by learning just a few principals of wealth we paid off over $170,000 in debt in a little over 3 years.  YOU CAN TOO.  My best recommendation for learning Wealth Principals of keeping your money and paying off debt is War on Debt a program by America’s Secret Millionaire, Dani Johnson.  http://www.danijohnson.com/successtools/self-improvement/war-on-debt-home-study-program/  Get the program it will change your life.

DEBT = DISEASE 
With over a decade of working with clients who struggle with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, Rheumatoid Arthritis and other chronic illnesses I have found that 90% of them have had periods of or currently have very stressful financial situations.  Whether they were sole providers like single parents with no financial support from a former spouse, they had lost a job, they or a child needed hospitalization that left them in debt…. and the list goes on.  

I have no doubt that stressful DEBT = DISEASE.  If you are someone who is struggling financially act NOW.  Don't wait the longer you wait the worse it gets.  Face the situation, do what needs to be done, invest in War on Debt and apply what you learn.  These steps not only can help you get your life in order it can literally improve your health! 

Come join us every Tuesday evening for a Free Total Wellness Coaching Call.

Please share your comments below. Your comments help us serve you better.

Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

 

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

Skin Cancer

As a Chiropractor who sees a lot of backs we have had several cases of individuals who have had the signs of skin cancer on their back but did not know it.  Because some individuals live alone and do not get regular dermatological check ups we may be there only set of eyes.  We encourage everyone to get or do a thorough examination for skin cancers twice a year.  If you have the risk factors for skin cancer or have had cancers in the past please seek proper dermatological attention.  The following information is not meant to diagnose or prescribe but rather for education purposes only.  

Enjoy the short video and scroll down to learn more about skin cancer.

 

 

I encourage everyone to do a google search a look up the images of what Melanoma and other skin cancers look like.  Keep these in a folder on your computer or print them out so you can stay aware and use these photos to do your own periodic body observations.

The following is from the American Cancer Society  http://www.cancer.org/Cancer/CancerCauses/SunandUVExposure/skin-cancer-facts  

Skin Cancer  

Skin cancer is the most common of all cancers. It accounts for nearly half of all cancers in the United States. More than 2 million cases of non-melanoma skin cancer are found in this country each year. Melanoma, the most serious type of skin cancer, will account for about 68,130 cases of skin cancer in 2010.

Most non-melanoma skin cancers develop on sun-exposed areas of the body, like the face, ear, neck, lips, and the backs of the hands. Depending on the type, they can be fast or slow growing, but they rarely spread to other parts of the body.


Basal cell or squamous cell cancers are highly likely to be cured if detected and treated early.
Melanoma, the most serious type of skin cancer, will account for about 68,130 cases of skin cancer in 2010 and most (about 8,700) of the 11,790 deaths due to skin cancer each year.


The overall 5-year survival rate for melanoma is 91%. For localized melanoma, the 5-year survival rate is 98%; survival rates for regional and distant stage diseases are 62% and 15%, respectively. About 84% of melanomas are diagnosed at a localized stage.


What are the signs and symptoms of skin cancer?


Skin cancer can be found early, and both doctors and patients play important roles in finding skin cancer. If you have any of the following symptoms, tell your doctor.
•    Any change on the skin, especially in the size or color of a mole or other darkly pigmented growth or spot, or a new growth
•    Scaliness, oozing, bleeding, or change in the appearance of a bump or nodule
•    The spread of pigmentation beyond its border such as dark coloring that spreads past the edge of a mole or mark
•    A change in sensation, itchiness, tenderness, or pain


What are the risk factors for skin cancer?


Risk factors for non-melanoma and melanoma skin cancers include:
•    Unprotected and/or excessive exposure to ultraviolet (UV) radiation
•    Fair complexion
•    Occupational exposures to coal tar, pitch, creosote, arsenic compounds, or radium
•    Family history
•    Multiple or atypical moles
•    Severe sunburns as a child

Skin Cancer is scary but the rate of survival if detected early is more than 90%.  Stay diligent and use Young Living Essential Oils of Frankincense and Grapefruit for further protection.  

 

We value your comments. Please comment below.


Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

Prayer and Healing: Not Just Biblical but Scientific

Prayer and Healing: Not Just Biblical but Scientific

By Annette Landers

One of the most talked about studies evaluating the positive benefits of prayers was published in The Southern Medical Journal in 1988. It involved 393 hospitalized patients who were equally divided into two groups: one group served as the control and was treated with traditional medical care alone; the second group received prayer along with traditional medical care. Neither group, nor their doctors, knew who was receiving prayer from third parties.

The group receiving prayer had these remarkable results; they had fewer congestive heart failures (8 vs. 20), fewer of them needed diuretics (5 vs. 15), they experienced fewer cardiac arrests (3 vs. 14), they had fewer episodes of pneumonia (3 vs. 13), fewer of them were prescribed antibiotics (3 vs. 17), and they generally required less medication than the control group, who received no prayer from the volunteer third parties.

In this study neither the sick individuals nor the doctors knew who if they were being prayed.  The results don't lie.  In our Ministry Mountain Moving Faith Ministry we have actually physically gone and prayed over individuals and seen miraculous changes of medications being reduced, pain subsiding, peace coming to a situation, and deliverance of hardened hearts.  But we have also seen these same miracles happen when we have prayed for individuals without them even knowing we were praying. 

Yes, prayer is powerful.  Maybe you are thinking, well, I said my prayers at church last Sunday for grandma, and she still is in the hospital suffering. I have prayed and asked God to get me out of debt, and He just doesn't answer my prayers, I'm still in debt. I'm a good person and all, but sometimes, when I ask God to help me get out of a bad situation, I find myself in an even worse situation! 

But see it isn't just about asking.  There is a part we have to take responsibility for. In the Bible it says, “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind." Our directions are to ask God, then believe that He is answering our prayer even when we do not see with our physical eyes right away. It’s called trust. The opposite is doubt. Our instructions are to not go back and forth, believing one minute, then changing our minds on it the next. When we waver back and forth in our belief, so do our results.

Don't give up in your prayers. ASK, SEEK, KNOCK and BELIEVE.   And continue to do this.   God's timing is not our timing.  Sometimes God is waiting for us to truly believe in Him. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to get to that place where we can only rely on him.  God longs for us to have a relationship with Him. His desire is that we take ALL of our cares to Him to deal with; our financial stresses, our marriage, kids, relationships, job, business issues, habits and addictions, health issues, fears, emotional train wrecks, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g! 

This, my friend, is the purpose of prayer. It gives God a way to work in our lives, to help us work through our problems, to heal our bodies, our thinking, and bring us into victorious lives. He desires to change our destructive situation, but first He works on change IN us, to set us free from the junk that keeps us sick, unsuccessful, depressed and angry.

Prayer, it’s the avenue of healing for every wound you have; physical, emotional, mental, financial, relational, and spiritual. Prayer has been proven, not only in the Bible, or scientific studies, but in millions of people who asked with faith, believed, and not doubted. God will be faithful to prove Himself in yours too. Give Him the chance today.

 

Please share your comments below. Your comments are very important to us.

 

Annette Landers of Mountain Moving Faith Ministries is a woman of extraordinary courage, faith and conviction for Total Wellness.   Suffering devastating health challenges she sought answers.  She has researched, traveled and invested countless hours and tens of thousands in her education and health recovery.  She not only discovered how to recover but how she got so sick.   Her discoveries have not enabled her own health but today she helps hundreds of others in her private phone coaching, encouraging teleclasses, and her weekly radio show soon to be launched.  If you are looking for answers Mountain Moving Faith Ministries and Annette Landers may be able to help. Visit Annette at her Facebook link at http://www.facebook.com/AnnetteFilmerLanders

 

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

 

Your Health and Your Sex Life

Your Health and Your Sex Life

By Dr. Mary Starr Carter

Sex within a healthy marriage is awesome and if you have a healthy marriage I don’t have to answer why…..

But the quality of your Sex Life can be a reflection of one or both spouse’s health. Here are some common myths when it comes to sex.

Myth:  It is natural as we age for our libido to decrease

Actually this is not correct.  If you examine some of the longest living cultures alive today they not only are enjoying sex in their later years but actually conceiving at 50 and 60 without any medical help.

A healthy male will have virility to his late years. And woman way past her sixties in many of these cultures.

What do these cultures have that we don’t in most modernized countries?

Clean Foods no processed foods or sugar.

Daily physical exercise from labor.

Cleansing or Fasting 30-100 days a year.

Nature’s unadulterated medicine.

A lot less Cortisol (stress hormone) raising Stress

In these cultures there are no cases of Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, or Digestive Diseases like Ulcerative Colitis and Crohn’s.

Myth:  It is normal for an older male not be able to have an erection or ejaculation

This is incorrect.  Certain diseases like Diabetes, Stenosis of the spinal cord (arthritis pushing on the spinal cord), Bulging discs on the spinal cord, and many medications can all cause issues with sexual performance.

As a Chiropractor I have to say that blockages in your nervous system the body’s Master System may be causing symptoms.  Some older men have found regular Chiropractic adjustments very beneficial to their overall health.

 

Myth:  Drugs can fix my “sex problems”

In the past two decades they have found many harmful and even fatal side effects of some common erectile dysfunction drugs.

Ironically the same drugs that are suppose to make us happy (Anti-depressants) have a common side effect of decreased libido.  And don’t forget that alcohol and recreational drugs also will affect your sexual performance.

Even something as simple as a cholesterol medication can decrease the cholesterol needed to produce hormones that give us our sex drive.

So if you are having trouble investigate these things first before turning to medications.

Myth:  What I eat has no effect on my sexual performance? 

This is incorrect, especially if you are trying to have a baby.  Men who eat a junk food diet filled with high saturated fats, sugar, and sodas like Mountain DoDo have been found to have a lower motility and sperm count.  Over time these things lead to stressed out organs, nervous system, and hormonal system resulting in dis-ease like Diabetes.

NingXia Red is just a highly concentrated fruit drink that is extremely safe for all ages and health conditions.  There is no caffeine or herbs in it just nature’s medicine fruits that help to re-build the body.  After 6 weeks of 6 oz a day most every person I talk to comments how ALIVE they feel & how much VITALITY they feel.  If you would like to know more about NingXia Red go to  http://www.starrhealth.myningxia.com/

Myth:  Exercise will reduce my Sex Drive

Exercise is an important part of your health and can increase your libido by increasing the Happy Hormones in your body as well as specific hormones that help keep you young.

If you overtrain you can decrease your oomph by stressing the adrenal glands which are an important part of your endocrine hormone system.  One great tip for Exercisers is to drink an ounce of NingXia Red in 8 oz of water while you exercise and make sure your body is getting enough minerals, B vitamins, and Fish oils.

This is just a glimpse at what Nutrition and Exercise can do your Sex Life. But here is my Bonus and Advice for those who want it don’t feel you have to take it.

As a spouse who has been through marriage training and individual counseling I would have to say the most effective training we had as a couple was www.firststepstosuccess.com


It may seem weird that we went to a business training to get
our marriage straight but it ended up like that.  I tell every person I know that this is where I learned to be a good listener and wife. To honor my husband and build a foundation of success. I won’t comment on my sex life in honor of my husband, but I will end by saying some of the best things you can do for your marriage and sex life happen outside the bedroom.

Let us know what you think. Please comment below.  Be tasteful and respectful.

Dr. Mary Starr Carter has worked with thousands of clients from terminally ill and chronic diseases to those who are healthy and want vibrant health.  She has counseled hundreds of families who had given up hope find simple safe solutions. Known as the Total Wellness Doc she looks at all aspects of health to help someone overcome disease.    She specializes in difficult cases like Fibromyalgia,  Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes and Chronic pain.

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

Foundations of your Health Success


Foundations of Success
 
By Dr. Mary Starr Carter 
 
 
Foundations of Success in our health come from small steps toward a future goal.  Once we have reached that goal we must take daily actions to maintain our success.   
 
Sounds simple enough right?!   Success in most things can be simple but not easy.  If it were easy we would have a majority population of fit, healthy and wealthy individuals.
 
When it comes to Health Success Foundations,  the best examples  come from the world's top Athletes.  The top three foundations of their success are Habits, Routines and Self Discipline. 
 
Let's be real and ask ourselves the following questions: 
 

 
What Habits do I have that are good for my health? 

 

What Habits do I have or don't have that are destructive to my health?

What Routines are health promoting for me? 
 
What Routines are healthy for my family?
 
What areas of my life am I disciplined in a positive way? 
 
What areas of my life do I need self discipline?  
 
No one is perfect, that is not what this is about. It is about looking at ourselves honestly and giving ourself praise for what we do do good and get real with what we aren't. 
 
Some of may be feeling like you don't even know the answers to these questions. You may need another set of eyes to help you see the positive in your life and areas you need to improve. 
 
Let me suggest a 30 minute Wellness Coaching Session to help you Begin on the Road to Health. Click here for more info:  http://www.thetotalwellnessdoc.com/wellness-coaching
 
 
 
Routine: Every person and family will have a different routine, but routines are a foundation of success.  What time do you wake up, go to bed, when do you study, when do you eat, how often do you eat….. and the list goes on. 
 
When it comes to your health having a routine of food and fitness is important.  But so is having some weekly or even daily me time, fun time, family time, couple time, and God time.   
 
I learned having a routine for my children is extremely important to their health.  Starting when they are an infant.  
 
What routines are best for you?  What routine do you think you might want to test out for the next few weeks to see if it is a fit for you? What routines are you ready to implement? 
 
 
 
Habits:  In Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People his 7th Habit includes Sharpening the Saw.  This means preserving and enhancing the best asset you have YOU. 
 
There are many Health Habits we can adopt including: 
 
Drinking 1/2 our body weight in oz of water per day
Exercising daily 
Speaking Kindness and Love over our body and about ourselves 
 
What are some Healthy habits you can adopt to Sharpen your Saw? 
 
They say it takes 21 days to set a habit. I agree and suggest to my clients to start with a 30 day goal. This leaves room for rest days and other things that might come up in our lives. 
 
Habits and Routines all have 1 thing in common….. they all need 
Self Discipline otherwise known as Self Control
 
 
Self Control:  Self Discipline and Self Control may be hard words to hear. When we think of the word discipline some of us might cringe or want to run away because of harsh upbringing or perfection standards.
 
I see clients who lack these foundations most of the time and then I also see clients who take this concept to the extreme thinking that perfection will come from strick standards on self.  Both of these concepts can cause Physical and Emotional issues. 
 
I want to leave you with a different picture of Self Control. This belief is my belief and although you don't have to agree I hope you will be open enough to just think about it.  
 
In the Bible it clearly states that Self Control is a gift of the Holy Spirit to us.   A gift to overcome our fleshy unmotivated and sometimes gluttonous bodies. Did you ever think about praying to God to help you overcome Food Addictions, the lack of motivation to exercise, even to help you to wake up at 5am and feel rested. 
 
 
Really Dr. Mary?  Yes I have seen it in my own life and many others. Simple things like feeling fully rested on a few hours sleep to miraculous things where clients have radically been delivered  from addiction of alcohol, drugs or even sugar.  It is real. God can do all things we just have to ASK and BELIEVE! 
 

 

Please share with us your comments about this article in the comment section in the bottom of this page.

 
 
 
 
 
 

Dr. Mary Starr Carter has worked with thousands of clients from terminally ill and chronic diseases to those who are healthy and want vibrant health.  She has counseled hundreds of families who had given up hope find simple safe solutions. Known as the Total Wellness Doc she looks at all aspects of health to help someone overcome disease.    She specializes in difficult cases like Fibromyalgia,  Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes and Chronic pain.

 

 We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

How to Avoid Getting Run Down

How to Avoid Getting Run Down?
By Dr. Mary Starr Carter

 

 
1) Sleep:  We all know it is important to get a good night's sleep.  6-8 hrs ideally with at least 4 hours uninterrupted. This means no bathroom tips, rollovers, sips of water, no nothing but REM sleep.
 
It's easy to get run down when you are sleeping regularly. If you are not getting good quality sleep or you know you won't be getting much sleep then plan a cat nap.  Take your lunch break outdoors in the sun with a blanket and a 20 minute snooze, or in your car with the seat back and your eyes closed. Don't worry what people think your body needs just a little bit of rest to help get you through the day.   
 
2) Plan Ahead:  Ever feel like chicken with their head cut off?  Running everywhere but getting no where.  If that's you it's important to carve out 10 minutes in your day to plan. Planning can help keep your cortisol "stress hormone" down and your energy up. Don't give me an excuse that you don't have time. Get yourself up 30 minutes earlier in the morning and get it done.  You will thank me later when your stress is less. 
 
3) Delegate: Stop thinking you can do it all, because you were not made to do all things.  In Proverbs 31 it talks of this amazing woman who is a mother, business owner, home maker, land owner, wife and more. But guess what she doesn't do it by herself it clearly states she actually had servants.  Now you may not be able to afford servants but you can delegate.  Can your friend grab some groceries for you?  Can you ask a High School student to come in and help you with laundry once a week?  I wrote about Support Systems before in 
 
Start implementing them today so you can avoid getting run down.
 
 
4) Drink Water Your fountain of energy and youth come from WATER.  That's right. Make sure you are drinking plenty of it, especially is stressful times.  Half your body weight in ounces.
 
5) Say No: Take responsibility for getting run down because you allowed yourself to get there.  Start saying no to obligations or jobs.  Make sure you know your #1 priority and goals so that when something comes up you can say Yes to those things that help you get to your goals and no to those that don't.
 
6) Supplement Nutrition:  A key factor in those who are sick and those who aren't.  My favorite #1 Keep me Healthy drink is called NingXia Red  Every single client who takes 2-4 oz a day always says how much more energy they have and how less often they get sick.  Try it for a month and see if you feel the difference.  If you don't we will give you your money back. 
 
7) Germ Fighters:  I use several different methods for germ fighting.1. Thieves Essential oil which when applied to the bottom of my feet everyday helps keeps my body strong.  2. Thieves Waterless Hand Purifier.  An absolute must when you travel and for the purse, especially if you have children.  3. thieves lozenges. My quote is "One Thieves lozenge a day keeps the doctor away".  4. Inner Defense an internal supplement which can be taken when you get sick 4 or more capsules a day and to prevent colds and flu by taking one a day. 
 
I am sharing all of this with you because I am lying in bed right now with a runny nose and slightly sore throat because I didn't listen to my own advice.  But after 5 Thieves Lozenges and 5 Inner Defense capsules today I am doing much better. I will put Thieves oil on my feet, back and neck along and should be better tomorrow.  I will let you know.   

We like to hear from you. Please leave your comment below.


Dr. Mary Starr Carter has worked with thousands of clients from terminally ill and chronic diseases to those who are healthy and want vibrant health.  She has counseled hundreds of families who had given up hope find simple safe solutions. Known as the Total Wellness Doc she looks at all aspects of health to help someone overcome disease.    She specializes in difficult cases like Fibromyalgia,  Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes and Chronic pain.

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

Part III in Healing Support Systems: Emotional and Spiritual Support System

Although we always make sure the physical needs are always met the emotional and spiritual needs are just as important. A tip from from Part II  Support Systems a daily check in by phone  or visit once a day  can be helpful to a person who is home bound and doesn't have a chance to interact with anyone all day. I have noticed with my elderly single family members that having a visit or phone call to look forward too can be very positive to their emotional health.

 

Tip #1)  Daily Check ins or visits 

 

My 90 year old aunt who lives alone makes us a meal once a week. She enjoys delivering it not just to see us but to see my 1 year old son. She has been able to see him grow up these past 15 months and it has been a great joy to her. Although she is not sick I do believe this has been very helpful to her.  

 

When visiting my dad in the Rehab Facility after his knee operation  I would bring my little son. Not only did it brighten his day but also everyone Else's.

 

Tip #2)  Furry Friends:   They say pets can be extremely healing for a person.  Although some pets may be difficult to care for someone with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, or someone who is bed bound still pets like cats take little maintenance and can be very healing. I know when I don't feel good and my cat comes and kneads and lays on my belly I just feel better.   

 

Tip # 6) Set Boundaries. Have the primary care giver give clear explanations and boundaries. What you can do or not do, when you sleep, what you need, how to speak positively over you. This helps everyone and is soooo good for your Emotional Well Being. 

 

An example of a conversation might be, “ Aunt Dorothy Mary really isn't suppose to be going up and down the stairs, but she is hard headed and is embarrassed about asking for help. When you come over can you make sure to check in with her and bring her water and ask her if there is anything else she needs. “

 

Tip #7 ) Social media (Facebook) the good and the bad:

 

I found Facebook to be a saving grace after the birth of my son. With my mind half gone and my body not cooperating Facebook allowed for a distraction from my woes. I didn't get on and complain or visit support groups I just tuned out. Support groups can be helpful but I will warn you especially my recovering Fribromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue clients, “DO NOT SPEND MORE THAN 10 minutes a day on those types of Support Groups” . Why? Frankly because those people are not you and on those sites you will hear 90% depressing messages about the disease and very little about the recovery. It can very easily turn a switch on in your brain that says maybe I am not getting better. So to avoid that limit your time.

 

Tip #8) Entertainment  

 

Entertainment is important for both the disabled individual, the family and caregivers. If you can not turn off for a little while everyday it can lead to burn out and further health crisis. I encourage people to pick something they really look forward to. Maybe it is a favorite Soap Opera, CSI, or Star Trek re-runs those can all be beneficial as long as they are used as a once a day one or two hours of tune out. If you are going to watch movies pick a uplifting, funny comedy or something that will make you laugh. Don't forget reading, books on CD, inspirational sermons or uplifting music. My favorite was to listen to the nationally syndicated radio station K-Love .

 

Tip #9 ) Keep a routine.

 

In some serious illnesses unfortunately routines are needed for medications and daily medical procedures. In other cases like Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue you may be lucky to have enough energy to do the dishes everyday. I don't mean you have to stick to a strict schedule but keep a routine with your approximate wake up, food, nutritional supplements, time with your children, spouse, entertainment, naps etc. This will help you with boundaries too. For example if the family knows 3-5pm is mommy's rest time then no one should be allowed in your room at that time.

 

Tip #10) Staying involved with your faith.

 

This was crucial in clients who are in the recovery stage. If you can not get to your church each week, see if a recording would be available for you. Make sure to utilize the healing ministries at your church or seek them out. Remember when we are the weakest He is the strongest. Having Faith in God can be quite comforting, as well as reading the Bible. It is full of stories of deliverance and healing.

 

 

Tip #11)  Miracles still happen

 

Since 2007 I have personally witnessed over one dozen miraculous healings. Healings where the client had Fibromyalgia who was hospitalized monthly and in a day was delivered from her illness. I have sat in the hospital next to a friend who was literally at death's door and miraculously is healthy and healed today. I have seen heart conditions healed. I have witnessed a woman in debilitating pain, on 5 different pain medications and in a wheelchair throw their wheelchair away and get off all pain medications.  I have seen Stage 4 Bladder Cancer healed. 

 

God healed all these people, miraculously. I am a skeptic and very scientific and had I not witnessed them myself may not believe. But I will tell you all these people had an amazing faith and believed that God would heal them….. and He did.  

 

So if there is one thing I can tell you in all my years of working with those who are sick is this….  Believe with all your heart that you can get better and you can be healed and then let go and see what doors God opens for you.  For some those doors will be miraculous healing for others they will be resources and ways to recover.  

 

I believe you can recover and have Total Wellness. Do you? 

 

 

Dr. Mary Starr Carter

Dr. Mary Starr Carter has worked with thousands of clients from terminally ill and chronic diseases to those who are healthy and want vibrant health.  She has counseled hundreds of families who had given up hope find simple safe solutions. Known as the Total Wellness Doc she looks at all aspects of health to help someone overcome disease.    She specializes in difficult cases like Fibromyalgia,  Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes and Chronic pain.

 

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

Part II in our Total Health Support Systems: The Home and Family Support System

Stressful times require extra help. Whether it is a health crisis or extra work at your job both can cause stress on the family. Instead of turning to junk food and a messy house think outside the box.

Whether you have small kids or are single everyone should have ….


Tool #2 A Home and Family Support System 

This Tool works best if it is set up before you need it.  I know it will be more of a challenge to do this when you live away from friends and family but I encourage you to begin looking now.  I promise you being prepared will help the stress an illness can put on a family. 

This system is based about Cleaning, Cooking, Childcare, Sick person Care, and Transportation.  Again your Resource List will be helpful in setting this system up.

 

Tip #1) Recruit elderly relatives, friends or neighbors.  There are many older retired individuals who are feeling alone and useless, yet they still can be helpful to so many if given the chance.  Find a family member who loves to cook, or run errands, or watch your children.  This not only will help you but can help them too. 


Tip #2) Recruit out of town friends and family to be a part of your Phone Call Check in Support System. Sadly in my town just 2 months ago a young single mom and her baby were found dead in their apartment because of lack of check in support. The mom died of a hereditary illness and since no one was checking up on them the 4 month old baby died too of neglect. How awful huh?! One simple phone call could have avoided that.


Tip #3) Teenager or College Student Support System.  Set up a local teenage neighbor looking to earn a few extra bucks and would be happy to come over do the dishes, clean up the kitchen, or help prepare meals. For those of you who are really busy and need help this is great because it gives you extra time with your kids and you won't be too exhausted if you have to do work after the kids go to sleep.

I have used this support system for years and it is helpful.  Be sure to set clear expectations, wages and performance standards.  Using their cellphone and texting every other minute is not appropriate while working for you. Maintaining a positive and pleasant attitude.  And the list goes on.  Be sure that they also understand that if they do not meet these standards you will terminate their arrangement.   (Don't forget to discuss this with the parents too. ) 

As you can tell I have learned through the years. Treat them well, honor them as adults, pay them well for work done well.  


Tip #4) Look for local stay at home mommies who may want some extra cash. Having a mommy you trust pick up your kids, or cook double dinners, one for their home and one for yours, do some lite cleaning and the list goes on. It depends on your needs and theirs.  

If you are thinking you can't afford that right now I want you to re-think that statement because you are forgetting that your energy is VALUABLE.  Remember your time and energy are worth something.   Spending $10 extra a week to have a meal made for you, a night of no dishes, extra family time, and less stress can be more valuable to  you then you think. 

 

Tip #5) Transportation: When a Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue client is so weak they can't drive themselves to Doctor appointments or even to the store then the burden usually falls on the spouse.  This can cause many sick days to be eaten up or even time without pay if the spouse is working.  So go through your Resource list and see who could help with transportation.  Again be sure to honor them with gratitude and gas money.  Many giving people refuse an exchange and it is okay to receive but if you have to use them multiple times find a way to honor them. Sometimes a simple thank you card is sufficient.  


Tip #6)  Childcare Sick person Care  Be sure of you and your spouse are clear on who can watch your children and who can't.  Even if that means you may have to send your kids for a week or so away to be properly cared for with someone you fully trust.  Leaving your children is really hard. So don't put yourself in a position where you have to worry, prepare ahead of time. 

Also look and see who may have experience in helping someone sick, injured, recovering from surgery or could help take care of you if you needed them.  


Be sure your have your HOME AND FAMILY LIST in a few different places so your spouse and or family member could help you put your Support System into place if and when you need it.  

 

Remember your Home and Family are very important but so are you. You are hurting, injured, recovering, or suffering with a Chronic Illness like Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue. You must make sure you have resources set up for you.  If you are hurting and haven't found answers we would like the opportunity to help you find some answers.  Our Wellness Coaching programs help those who are lost in a Health Care puzzle get on a path to Total Wellness. Learn more at thetotalwellnessdoc.com/coaching

 

 

Dr. Mary Starr Carter has worked with thousands of clients from terminally ill and chronic diseases to those who are healthy and want vibrant health.  She has counseled hundreds of families who had given up hope find simple safe solutions. Known as the Total Wellness Doc she looks at all aspects of health to help someone overcome disease.    She specializes in difficult cases like Fibromyalgia,  Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes and Chronic pain.

 

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.