Lessons and Blessings of Another Miscarriage

We all have highs and lows in our life.  It is inevitable and it is life.  The lows of life are sad, tragic, depressing, and awful, right?  What if the lows of your life were actually blessings in disguise or experiences to help you grow?

My 2011 Christmas Holiday was spent in one of those blessings and lessons. On December 25th 2011 while everyone else was celebrating Christmas, I was learning that I needed immediate surgery.

The Highs
It all started with our 5-day vacation to Austin, Texas.  I was 12 weeks pregnant and besides a lot of fatigue, nothing was abnormal. It was an awesome vacation and Saturday December 17th was one of the top 12 days of my life.  Starting with a morning walk to a delicious Mexican Diner, followed by a trip to Zilker Park and a ride on the Zilker train, then off to the Austin Nature Center.  Austin was beautiful, but it was the family time that made it so special.

Then that afternoon my husband and I set out on a 90 minute journey in the Hill Country of Texas where we saw hundreds of little deer and spent quality time talking.  We arrived at the beautiful Meyer Bed and Breakfast, got ready and headed to one of the most special and beautiful weddings I had ever been too.  A day of family, fun, friends, and romance who could ask for more?

The Lows
The next morning, I had breakfast with some of my favorite people including my spiritual mentors Dr. Jack and Lavonne Atnip. We laughed and joked and shared stories of how much our lives have been blessed by this couple.  But somewhere, something inside of me wasn’t feeling right.  I was really tired and thought maybe I just ate too much cake.  As I kissed Dr. Lavonne goodbye she said, “you take care of yourself and get some rest.”  A normal, typical thing that someone would say to a pregnant woman, but something inside of me just didn’t feel right.

On the drive back to Austin, this once beautiful terrain made me nauseous and irritable.  We arrived home and I laid down to rest for a while, but I just couldn’t get comfortable.  My back ached, my legs felt weird, and then all of sudden I felt something coming out of me.  I rushed to the bathroom to see bright red blood.   OH NO not again.  Am I having a miscarriage?

My first trip to the Emergency since a car accident in 1997, confirmed that the baby inside of me had no fetal heartbeat and was only the size of a 6-week fetus even though now I was about 13 weeks pregnant. They said you are having a miscarriage. Then they sent me home to mis-carry my baby.

My husband and I were heart broken as we had gone through this in June of 2011 as well.  Our baby Rachel would have been born January 2012 and now our baby Jesse who would have been born June 30th 2012 was going to heaven too.

But as I said before, I trusted God completely and knew He had His reasons. So although sad, I started to see the blessings in it.

The Blessings

God had given me one of the most amazing days of my life.

He gave our family time to be “on vacation” for 3 weeks.

He ordained 2 weeks with my aunt and uncle who cared and nurtured me, my husband and our 22 month old son Joshua in a wonderful and loving way.

God blessed us with 3 weeks of sun and springtime weather.

I got to go heal for a week at Jones Health Essentials in Florida where I got to spend quality time with our in-laws, nieces and nephews.

We had excellent health insurance for the first time in 15 years.

We were 5 minutes away from one of the best hospitals I had ever been to.

I spent several days in the bathroom bleeding and what I thought was miscarrying my baby.  Me, being a strong willed and natural Doctor, I sometimes think I know everything.  I thought I was fine… but I wasn’t. It’s not that I didn’t listen to my body which I am known to do… but I didn’t follow the doctor’s directions…  right away…  and had I waited much longer, I might have lost my life.

The Lessons and more Blessings:

My Ego for natural medicine was so big, I would brag all the time that I haven’t needed to take any drug or even an aspirin in 11 years.  A part of me thought “I will never need medical care”, “I will never need drugs.”  “essential oils can take care of everything”.

Well I sure learned my lesson.

A second emergency room visit on Christmas day showed that I would need immediate surgery or I would risk never having babies again or worse.

I would need anesthesia for this surgery and the thought of surgery and drugs scared me a lot at first.  I was very frightened and then like a blanket of snow, this PEACE fell over me like you can’t imagine.  (more on that in another blog)

 The Blessings and Lessons of St. David’s South Austin Medical Center  

For more than 13 years I have interned, taught and/or assisted clients at more than 17 hospitals all over the United States, including top ranked hospitals like Stanford.  Out of 17 hospitals, I have never seen the excellent care and outstanding service that St. David’s South Austin Medical Center had.  In all areas, they were excellent from registration to wheeling you out the door.

Have you ever been to an ER that was beautiful and clean, quick, comfortable, and had courteous staff?   St. David’s did.

But it was my experience with the Doctors and Nurses who blessed me the most.

Dr. Glen, the ER doc, was compassionate and kind.

Joyce, my hospital room nurse was attentive, listened, and even let me put some essential oils on to relax.

Nancy, my OR nurse, talked with me while I had a 20 minute wait before being wheeled into surgery.

I was blessed with one of the best anesthesiologist in the state who listened to me and respected my wishes.

But the most outstanding doctor I have had the privilege to work with was Dr. Hemkumar, a female OBGYN who performed the surgery.  She spent time talking with us, explaining the procedure, answering our questions.  She had been a doctor in India delivering hundreds of babies and then went back to school here in the US for medicine again.  She had 2 of her own children and really understood motherhood. She was compassionate, personable and really connected with her patients.  I was blessed by her skill and person and St. David’s is highly blessed to have her on staff.

The Lesson I Learned Through the Blessing of St David’s Hospital is that we all are needed.  Nature’s medicine as well as traditional medical intervention.  Had I not had my medical intervention on December 25th 2011 and the excellent care of St. David’s Hospital, I may not be here to talk to you now.

After spending a day and a half at St. David’s hospital, I checked out okay to go back to my aunt’s to rest and heal.  But before we left, a wonderful volunteer named Francesca came to wheel me downstairs.  She was an elderly woman who had lost her husband and daughter, yet was one of the most pleasant person you have ever met.  I realized then that life would be filled with highs and lows. But even with hurting hearts, we can choose happy.

Dr. Mary Starr Carter is known as the Total Wellness Doc. She has been training individuals about Natural Health Solutions for over 13 years. She is trained as a Chiropractor and has studied under the world’s foremost leaders in natural medicine. She is a mother and a wife and has created a balanced and total wellness life for herself and thousands of her clients using her simple wholistic approach to health and wellness. Her coaching, classes and ebooks help clients with Fibromyalgia, Hormone and Adrenal issues, Asthma, Diabetes, Weight problems, Thyroid and Chronic pain find resources and solutions to better health.

We publish newsletters and blogposts twice a week for our readers for general education purposes only. We cover topics that are related to achieving and maintaining total wellness which includes our emotional, physical, spiritual and financial health.

  • Dj2me55

    I remember that I was not able to feel anything but pain and loss after all my miscarriages, but like Dr. Mary, I found the blessing in having created my angels and knowing I will one day be reunited. Thank you for such a heartfelt post–there are so many women who can benefit from your sharing this personal moment of grief and faith.

  • Mary Simmons

    Thank you Mary for sharing your story; I know this must have been very hard to write.  Many people will benefit from reading  this article.

  • Red4roxie

    It seems Wrong to click like, I’m sure you know whats in my heart

  • Oh Dr. Mary… thank you so much for sharing this… I am so blessed to have you in my life, someone who can see through the pain and lows of life to find those blessings. I will be praying for you all as I know this is still incredibly painful and raw for you and your family. Many hugs to you….

  • Ilona

    Dr.Mary,I’m praying for your peace and i KNOW what you are going through-I had 2 miscarriages myself-at home…but,I KNOW my two beautiful children are with their Maker and I WILL see them one day again! Thank you for your openess and humbleness to share this most intimate event with us.HUGS!

  • Sharing your sadness and praying for you.  I’m really interested in your comment on peace. Prior to a shoulder surgery 3 years ago I was seriously agitated, convinced I wouldn’t wake up from the anaesthetic and on the verge of panic for weeks.  I asked all my scrapping and Fb friends to pray for me.  The morning of the surgery a palpable peace descended on me and all my fear and anxiety simply evapourated.  I attribute this entirely to the power of prayer and I’m so happy that you were blessed in the same way.

  • Dr. Mary Starr

    Thank you everyone for your warm comments.  Catherine I am going to share about that peace on Monday in my blog.  Thank you.

  • Brenda W.

    I feel so blessed and honored that God chose to have you be a part of my life.  You have brought tears to my eyes with your beautiful words of wisdom.  I will be praying for you and your family.

  • Verda

    Thank you for sharing your experience that it may help  to comfort others , that they may share and begin healing. 

    A mother hurts when her children hurts  but this is a hurt that only God can fix, so I continue to pray for God to keep you  and  Jay  in HIS tender care……HE knows just what you are going through and HE is the God of  all comfort…..  II Cor. 1:3-5 

  • Randi

    Dr. Mary. Thank you for sharing your story. I too, spent a night in the hospital this past December and had the same ego trip; in the past being proud to say I would never need conventional medicine. I received the same wake up call you did…God blesses us with both natural medicine and conventional medicine because both are from him. My prayers are with you and your family for continued health, healing and well-being.  

  • Ebarbagallo

    Dear Dr.Mary:  Thank you for sharing.  I was so moved, I cried.  Many will certainly benefit from your story and I am praying for you and your wonderful family.

  • Ayo

    Mary, I’m so sorry to “hear” you (and your family) went through this experience.  I believe that evey lesson is a blessing, and your story will provide comfort to many.