Let’s face it- marriage is not easy. A joy-filled loving marriage is even harder to develop. Many couples are more like roommates than happily, passionately in love with their spouse. How does this happen?
I recently heard a friend say when I commented about the lack of time he and his wife have together, “Well when you have been married as long as we have it just works.” I felt sad about that comment. I felt sad because I know it doesn’t have to be that way.
I know because I have examples in my life of couples married over 40 or even 50 years who still love each other deeply and want to spend quality time with each other.
So how do we stay or grow to fall in love with our spouse even deeper? I came up with this Marriage Exercise while on my own weekly date night the other night. I think it can help you fall more passionately in love with your spouse too.
Our tendency as humans is to focus on the faults, annoying things, frustrations, angers, and past hurts of our spouse. And the fact is daily our spouse could be hurtful, annoying, frustrating, or make us angry. So how do we change our focus and mindset? I think I found an answer.
This is an exercise I did the other day just for fun on one of our date nights. We had an hour drive and I thought I am going to tell my husband 101 ways why I love him.
Quite honestly at first I thought it was going to be difficult and that I maybe could get to 20. But then something happened once I focused on all the things I love about him. I started being reminded of more things that he has done or traits he has that I love. It was really fun. I was speaking LIFE into my husband.
And then as I got towards the end I started telling him things that I love about him that has not happened yet. It was like speaking a prophetic Word into his life. And the results surprised me.
When we got home that night he was so loving and caring for me (and not just because it was date night). See when you have little kids, a business to run, and health challenges you know that by the end of the day you are exhausted and sometimes impatient and probably not so loving feeling. But it was like the Words I spoke over my husband gave him energy, love, and the ability to feed me “caring and love”.
It was awesome… and when he did something later that was a little frustrating instead of getting frustrated and upset I focused on why I love him and told him some. It diffused the bad emotions and brought in the good.
So I don’t know if this exercise will work for you but why not try it.
1. Get your journal and start with 10 reasons you love your spouse.
2. When you get to 10 keep going and see how far you can get… here are a few ideas:
Think about his/her talents, qualities, physical features you love, things they have done you have been proud of or things they have done for the family or you. Their way with your children.
3. Now think about their dreams and goals and write down reasons you love them as if they have achieved those dreams and goals. Make sure they are their dreams or at least your mutual dreams together. For example:
I love you because you worked so hard to get healthy and you did it.
I love you because you have helped our family get out of debt.
I love you because you have created a legacy for our children.
4. Now go test a few of these things out with your spouse. Make sure they are in a space for listening and receiving your words. Sometimes you might have to write them a letter or card.
Let me know how it goes. It may sound silly to you because you just aren’t in that happy place with your marriage or maybe like my friend you have been married a long time, but WHY NOT just try it. What do you have to lose? And keep trying it.
Give your spouse Words of Love and Encouragement for the next 10 days and see what happens. And if you are still struggling, try Shutran essential oil blend. It is beautiful romantic cologne or perfume that can be worn daily, diffused or just saved for special nights that can help you both feel more loving. We love SHUTRAN.
I will pray for your success and awesome changes in your marriage. For more tips about Having a Happy Marriage, visit my friends who have been married a LONG time and coach thousands of people on how to have a QUALITY marriage, Drs. Jack and Lavonne Atnip on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/TheEncouragementCenter.
Disclaimer: This information is not meant to diagnose, prescribe, treat or cure any illness or disease. It’s strictly for informational, educational, or entertainment purposes ONLY. The products I talk about are not meant to diagnose, prescribe, treat or cure any illness or disease. Any information I give you about them is for informational or entertainment purposes only. They have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA. Please seek the qualified health professional of your choice when making health decisions for yourself, your family and your pets.