Do you ever get tired of looking at social media posts that just show “the best of”?  You know that perfectly posed shot, the perfect sunlight that tricks us into thinking we don’t have wrinkles, the perfect family pose, the cute outfit pose, the vacation highlights, the date night “happy couple” pose, the check out my new (fill in the blank), the cute kids, the new furniture, the perfectly staged essential oil picture, or the funny meme, the “look at all the weight I lost pose”  and of course the perfect food picture or video.  Seriously, are you tired of it?

Maybe I am a little jaded lately because I am over my head in laundry, an unending task list, feeling bad about losing 15 lbs prior to COVID lockdown and gaining 20 lbs during.   So I apologize as I vent my views.  I guess I want to vent but I also want you to know that your life is real and maybe you feel inadequate to even post anything or do a live story because you feel less than.

I remember a few years back a woman came up to me and told me she loved my social media videos because I was so different from the others who wore their fake eyelashes and full makeup for every video…she said you are just real.   Then somewhere along the path I stopped being real.  I bought full coverage makeup, hid my zits, got better lighting and turned on the beauty filter.   I don’t mean to be fake and I don’t mean for you to feel like you can’t post a picture of you in glasses, and 2-day no shower hair when you really would like to share.  Social media is welll……

A place that can lift us up, bring us down, kill us with comparison, encourage our dreams, help us stay connected with our friends, family and colleagues, and drive wedges between us over our various views.   At the same time, I have to say I am grateful I am able to use social media as a tool.  A tool that helps to encourage others, keep us connected, build business together, and improve the lives and health of others.

So I will continue to put on makeup because it’s professional and honestly it makes me feel good to look good.  I will begin again to release my sugar and comfort food weight, but remember for every “highlight” pose you see is my “real life struggles and normal life” so don’t shy away from sharing.   I am here to encourage your life by maybe seeing some of my highlights, messages, and the desire I have for you to live your “FULL LIFE.”

God Bless you friend,

Mary Starr  (picture is makeuped, and perfect natural lighting reducing my wrinkles by 40%)

I thought this message I journaled to myself might help you.

Saying goodbye to this hazy California sun for a while.  You were beautiful, comfortable, abundant, and friendly…until you weren’t anymore.

The sun is a beautiful pink caused by smoke and ash still looming in the air.  It makes me think of how God can turn the worst things into beauty…. #beautyforashes

The beautiful forest that burned will now propagate new growth only caused by intense heat.  Maybe that is what some of us are experiencing too.  This new season of life a growing newness and beauty in our lives that wouldn’t have happened without the challenges.

Our doors 🚪 have been closed for 6 months as we learn to live with each other in a whole new way.  We fought, we cried, our hearts 💞 ached for a different way, but it didn’t come.

Maybe because we needed to burn off the weeds to grow new.  To see things differently ✨  to look within and to look to Him.

Then our doors opened again and we saw what really mattered.  We cherished each other more and our friendships. We were new.

As I close out the day of Rosh Hashanah with this sunset and the beginning of this #epicroadtrip2020, I will search my heart ❤️ for more things that need to be changed in me. I will embrace the hard work of change,  I will set my eyes 👀 forward and trust that God makes all things new.

Follow our road trip on my Facebook and Instagram.

Be blessed friends,

Mary Starr

Recently my friend asked this question in a Facebook post.   What would you have told yourself in your 30’s? 

For some reason, I really contemplated this question and wrote and wrote and wrote.  I would love to know what you would have told your younger, 45-year-old self. 

I am in a weird stage where some of my friends’ kids are going to college–my kids are way younger.   There are some things I regret about the way I have done life, but moving closer to 50, I am enjoying being me more.  I am enjoying living life more.  I am enjoying just where God has me. 

Here is my message to my 30 year old self.  

From ages 25 to 35 I was like a workaholic, self-centered and didn’t take care of myself really well.

I would have told myself to:

• Slow down 🛑

• Start being regimented with nutrition, supplements, exercise, and relaxation techniques

• Rely on God way more than you do your own talents

• Stop thinking 💭 about yourself so much

• Get off the co-dependent wagon

• Accept who you are and love yourself more

• Let go of the past

• Forgive, forgive, forgive 🙏🏻

• Treat your parents 👪 better

• Spend more time with loved ones

• Don’t judge everyone–pull the plank out of your own eye

• You don’t have to impress anyone, you’re good enough, you’re strong enough

• Strengthen up–get endurance and put on your spiritual armor 🛡️ because the storms will come

• Wake up, prepare your heart that not everyone is good–there is evil in the world, oh and even “good people” do lie, cheat, steal and do bad things, but understand God loves all His children

• Have mercy, forgiveness, and humility in all situations,

• Understand perspective and capacity

• Give more honor and respect

• Smile, 😊 smile, 😊 smile

• Guard your ❤️ heart, but let down the walls–you can only do that with Jesus’s help, you don’t have to do this all by yourself, understand God gave us Jesus but He also left the Holy Spirit, use the 🔥 Holy Spirit’s help more, like all the time

• Grow intimacy with The Big Three and I don’t mean This is Us,

• Don’t get hung up understanding all the details they weren’t meant for you to understand right now,

• Love, 💖 love, 💖 love

• Live, live, live, but live a life of gratitude–most of all, understand your blessings aren’t all about what He is doing for you

• Stop feeling guilty about your blessings, understand your Favor comes from above.

• Yes, do good works, but don’t strive for Favor from above or from the world. 

• Delegate rather than procrastinate 

• Let go of the busy work, reevaluate, self reflect, be ready to not be good at everything and that parenting, marriage, and many things will have a learning curve

• Use more sun protection 🧴

• Care for your face more–try facials sooner

• Set aside time and budget for self care 💆🏻‍♀️

• Stop spending 💸 all you make

• Value all people and all ages

• Understand, learn, grow

• Read and learn more principals of the Bible.  Soak in the Word and let His supernatural, amazing Bread of Life feed you–fill up on it daily and life will flow better.

Are you counting your blessings?  Did your mom ever say that to you?  Well, right now more than ever, we need to be looking for those blessings.  If we focus just on the negative in our own lives and or the news, we will only see the bad.

So let’s start counting our blessings.  In fact, I think there is a science to focusing on the blessings in our lives.  What we focus on magnifies.  Have you ever heard that saying?  I won’t go into all the reticular brain activation science, but in a nutshell, have you ever been excited owning maybe a new car?

For me, back in the day, it was a Saturn Vue.  I loved that car, but as soon as I got one it seemed like everyone had one.  Did they all of a sudden just have Saturn Vue’s or did my brain now focus on the things I had put my focus on.  I am sure you can think of examples now too.

So it appears that those around me doing the best emotionally, and even financially, are the ones focusing on their blessings.  They are not filling their days with television and news reports which prior to COVID was already mostly negative, but focusing on their blessings and how to make each day count!

So you may or may not believe me on this, but I see it in my own life.  The tension, arguments,  stress, and tears were high when my focus was on the news or negative, but now for the past 60 days I have been choosing what I watch, listen to and let into my life very carefully.

It’s brought a lot of peace and harmony into my home.  It’s doesn’t mean I am not aware, but it does mean I am focused and grateful most days.

And to top all that off WE WON ANOTHER MOTORCYCLE!!!!!!!!!  Crazy, amazing, and so awesome for my husband right now.   But again I know this is God’s Favor and I feel pretty strongly why this happened.  I go into it in this video.